If the phrase “love is blind” and its celebrated meaning is anything to go by, then the high incidence of divorce in our society today shouldn’t be.
It is either, therefore, a misnomer, or people who are “in love” take it too far.
But it shouldn’t be because,
William Finn in MARCH OF THE FALSETOSS warns that:
Love is crazy
love stinks
love is often a debris
All the names are changed to protect the innocent.
And Shakespeare in MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM writes:
And therefore love is said to be a child
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.
Judging from the above lines, Dr. Ikemsinachi Nwafor, the acclaimed marriage counsellor and sex therapist strongly believes that, certain pre-relationship red flags must not be taken for granted at the very beginning.
Otherwise, it may lead to the philosophy of the fools: had I known.
Therefore, the intending and accredited lovers should consciously watch out for the following red light in their relationship:
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Times without number, the Holy Book warns us to stay away from anyone who has serious anger issue.
So it is not a new thing; no time to waste here.
On that note, if your lover is guilty of aggressive behaviour or traits of violence, you should be careful of such a relationship and find a way to put an end to it for your own safety.
Don’t be “beguiled” to continue in it, thinking that he or she will change.
UNFAITHFULNESS
It is not possible to love two or more persons at the same time even though some persons have had debatable reasons to keep multiple relationships at the same time.
Unless you are ready to accommodate the plagues that accompany such a relationship, you had better run with your legs and hands.
SELF-CENTREDNESS
For an enduring relationship, the interest of one should be the concern of the other and vice versa.
But for the selfish partner, it is not so.
This is hurting both for the relationship and the individuals.
The only way to avoid this is to nip the relationship in the bud.
LIES AND DECEITS
Personally, I hate to be lied to as much as everyone else does.
So if you discover that he or she lies a lot at this very beginning, don’t even think twice. Love has never been.
Lies and deceits will break your bones and spirit.
- NONCHALANCE
If you discover that he or she has this care-less attitude, don’t go any further.
Relationship must be built on care and love.
There no point to be in it if you are not the
number one in his or her life.
I tell you the truth and I lie not: there is nothing that hurts more than being in relationship where you are a second class citizen.
TOO MUCH SEX CONSCIOUSNESS
This is rather personal.
But I must confess that, too much of everything is bad.
I believe that you are matured enough to know what is good for you.
The point is: never you be a sex toil for anyone in a relationship.
IMMATURITY
If you read my post on maturity, then you will understand that, it is almost impossible to have a successful relationship with an immature person.
DOMINEERING ATTITUDE
A domineering person is a “controller general” of everything.
He or she is bossy and wants everything done in their own way.
They tend to nag too, and it can be so annoying.
A normal relationship should accommodate each other’s opinion without an inferiority complex in one.
ULTERIOR MOTIVES
Don’t even look back on this one.
Run away from somebody who is after you for ulterior motives.
Imagine someone that pretends to love you just because of your wealth. That is an ulterior motive.
I once heard of a guy who said to a girl:
“I only married you because you are very pretty, and I wanted my children to be beautiful”
If only the lady had known all along.
CRIMINAL OR ANNOYING HABITS
It is often said that, “who you follow determines what follows you"
Habits like drug abuse and alcohol abuse could be something you might not condone.
If you hate dirtiness and cigarette smoking, you should watch out for them instead of hoping to straighten your partner some day.
Now, a lot of persons have found themselves in a miserable marriage because of their negligence for these early morning signs among others.
Either by omission or by commission.
But, as for you, don’t be “beguiled,” Love has never been “blind”
Thanks for reading.
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