The female orgasm has been talked about so much and for so long that it has taken on a life of its own. It is the elusive, unspoken thing between a couple, the stuff of locker room talk among men, and much frustration among women. Sadly, there are more myths than truths around the female orgasm, especially when you consider what the biggest teacher of sex education to men is: porn. There are so many myths that men need to stop believing about the female orgasm, some of them rooted in the archaic and repressed traditions of long ago, and some of them quite insulting.
We need to talk about these myths, and debunk them.
PENETRATION IS THE ONLY WAY A WOMAN CAN COME
A woman’s sexual pleasure is not limited to her vagina alone, please familiarise yourself with her clit and use it repeatedly. there are other pleasure zones that can take her there, and you should pay attention to them. explore her body with her and you will find many surprising erogenous zones.
IF SHE DOESN’T SQUIRT, THE ORGASM IS NOT “BIG” ENOUGH
You meet some guys and they are so focused on knowing if you squirt. It is the pinnacle of female pleasure for them, the indication that they are hitting it right. Thanks but no thanks, porn! Not every woman can squirt. in fact, the majority of women cannot ejaculate. Don’t be so fixated with eliciting a squirting orgasm from her that you lose sight of what sex is truly about-mutual pleasure.
THE ORGASM IS THE ONLY WAY A WOMAN CAN ENJOY SEX
Women don’t have orgasms every time, at least some of us don’t. Sex is about the pleasure and the communion, exploring each other’s bodies. A woman does not have to have an orgasm to have a good time.
SHE NEEDS TO ORGASM TO GET PREGNANT
This myth is just ridiculous, and has fueled the trope of “women who get pregnant by rape enjoyed it, and so it cannot be called rape”. What right thinking person believes this, you ask? You’d be surprised.
SHE SHOULD HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS
Women are responsive, yes, and can have multiple orgasms. But that does not mean that it happens every time, or with every woman. Sometimes she will have multiple orgasms, other times not.
HIS ORGASM IS ENOUGH TO TRIGGER HERS
Porn, what lies you have spawned! The simultaneous orgasm, while nice when it happens, is not a prerogative for sexual pleasure. After panting on top of her without consideration for what she’s feeling, your loud orgasm is not enough to make her come. Please stop thinking it does.
If you believe any of these myths, I hope this helps to set you right. You should come to your partner with an open mind and no preconceived notions of what they or you should feel. Every person is different, and the experience will be different with everyone.