Cunnilingus, the textbook term for performing the act of oral sex on a woman. Somewhat difficult to pronounce, most men or women refer to this act as "going down" or "eating out" as a simplified sexual slang. Unlike men, women typically require direct stimulation to their clitoris to experience orgasm.
And, quite conveniently, the tongue and lips are able to provide this stimulation like no other part of the body--although vaginal and clitoral orgasms are still possible through penetration alone.
While some women do prefer the fingers to the mouth, most women prefer them to be used in conjunction with the mouth.
In other words, while oral sex is given, they can be used to simultaneously penetrate the vagina and moved in the "come here" finger motion.
So, how does one give a lady the ultimate, mind-blowing and lick-tastic experience?
1. Both partners should get themselves into comfortable positions.
This goes without saying much--I think we all like to get a little comfy before any type of hanky panky. However, to be frank, you'll find that the optimal, basic position--the woman lying on her back with their partner either kneeling or lying between her legs--to suffice in almost all cases.
The giver will have easy access to the vaginal area with their head and the woman will be able to focus on the pleasure received without having to worry about personal comfort.
2. The partner who is going to give oral sex should begin with foreplay by massaging and rubbing the woman's legs, inner thighs, and vulva with his or her hands.
These sexy moves will let your partner's body know that something awesome is about to happen. Her body will begin to get excited and will start to produce natural lubricant to help prevent any irritation and dryness. To top it off, your saliva will be an excellent supplement to the natural lubricants produced.
3. Once thoroughly aroused and clothing has been removed, gently spread the lips of the vulva and begin to lick.
Is there an art to licking? Try anything from short rapid thrusts to long, sensual and slow licks. Your woman won't know what she likes until she tries it, and not every woman will like the same thing.The tongue can also be used around all edges of the vagina, even thrust inside.
It is worth noting that throughout this entire ordeal your tongue can become dry and begin to detract from the pleasure given. To prevent this, if you feel like your tongue is beginning to dry, simply pause for a second and recoat it with saliva. Lastly, if you're worried about some sort of puddle of fluids forming, go ahead and place a towel underneath the woman prior to playtime.
4. Experiment by lightly sucking the areas around the clitoris and/or use some gentle nibbling. A sudden puff of cool air can also be pleasurable.
The clitoris contains the majority of nerve endings found in and around the vagina, therefore making it the primary 'target,' if you will, when one brings a woman close to orgasm.
The clitoris can at times become over-stimulated, so if it is too sensitive to stimulate directly, try either decreasing the strength of the stimulation or focus on the area around the clitoris.
5. Communicate - simply ask her what she likes!
Every woman is different.
The female orgasm is much more complex than with respect to stimulation than a man's and may require special attention or instruction to bring her all the way. Ask your partner what she needs, and ask that she tells you what she needs, as you do it.
Moreover, encourage her to move your head towards any part of her anatomy that may need 'special care.'
6. Adjust your stimulation to meet her needs as she approaches the Big-O.
Many women will enjoy being penetrated simultaneously by a finger or two or having their breasts fondled while you lick back and forth. Some, on the other hand, may find this to be distracting.
Furthermore, some women find that as they come closer to the brink of orgasm, the sensitivity of their clitoris begins to increase. While one may assume that as a woman is about to reach orgasm more stimulation is the answer, in cases like the above, less may be more.
Communication is still key, even in the heat of the moment. So if the clitoris does become increasingly sensitive, licking around it will provide for the optimal orgasmic experience.
7. Remember to rest and recuperate if your mouth or tongue get tired.
Like any muscle, the tongue and fingers will strengthen with frequent use.
Yet, if you find yourself getting fatigued too quickly, take a short break and use one or the other to allow for the recuperation of your other 'pleasure utensil.'
If you were using the tongue and fingers simultaneously, experiment with using your other hand or nose as a stimulator as you take a quick break.
--
We referenced the beloved Sex for Dummies by Ruth K. Westheimer in this article.
--
Enjoy this article?
Subscribe to our email list for the latest news, tips, and fun.
Privacy is #1. We don't share your information with anyone.