Have you ever dared trying anal sex? If not, you’re missing out on a lot of fun! You see, anal is one of the best forms of sexual activities. It’s fun, thrilling, easy to do and above all, it’s safe. In addition, anal can give you pleasure that no other penetrative sex can do.
And bear in mind that the human body doesn’t only have one hole but several which you can use to your advantage. It’s very interesting to experiment when it comes to sex, and Tim and I consider anal sex as one of our favorite bedroom activities.
However, we understand that many of you may find it icky or even painful, but trust us, you have nothing to worry about. We are here to help you every single step of the way.
Welcome to Tim and Sandra’s guide to anal sex!
Is Anal Sex Safe?
Just like with other bedroom activities, one of our main concerns is of course safety. Many of you may be wondering, is anal sex safe? The answer is a resounding YES! We’ve done it countless times and based on our experiences, you can do it without worrying about hurting yourself or your partner as long as you do it right.
The key how to enjoy anal sex is using lubricant. The anus doesn’t produce its own “juice” so it’s very dry, and you need to lube up a bit to ensure you don’t tear your partner’s anal lining. Using sufficient amount of lube will make anal penetration easier and you can slide in and out easily.
If it’s your first time doing it, or if you’re doing it with someone you hardly know, better use a condom. This is a very effective way to protect yourself from infection since the anus isn’t exactly the cleanest part of the body. So even if you clean up or douche before doing the deed; there are still a lot of bacteria lurking down there. You have to protect yourself by using a condom.
Perhaps you’ve already seen a lot of porn wherein couples get very kinky. Specifically when the male star puts his cock in the woman’s ass and then suddenly puts it in her vagina and vice versa. It may look hot and sexually arousing but really, it doesn’t work that way in real life because you will only be putting yourself and your partner in danger of getting sexually transmitted disease or infection. Never go from anus to vagina without proper cleaning!
What Does Anal Sex Feels Like?
So why do many people go crazy over anal sex? Does it feel better than vaginal and oral sex? Well for me personally, I love the feeling of Tim’s hard cock inside my anus. I love how my anal muscles stretch as they accommodate his entrance. Once he’s inside, I like to finger myself as he pumps away. Sometimes, I even ask him to finger me. It’s a wonderful feeling as all kinds of sensations flow through my veins.
On the other hand, Tim also loves it when I peg him. He says that the feeling of having his prostate stimulated makes him want to pee though there’s nothing to pee at all. He also said that it feels like he needs to defecate (but in a good way).
How To Prepare For Anal Sex
As mentioned earlier, not everybody is interested in having something in their anus, but this doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do about it. Anal sex is fun and it provides a whole new level of pleasure. Tim and I started doing it long before we tied the knot and we never regretted it. In fact, it only brought us closer to each other knowing we can do different sex positions with consent from both parties.
If it’s your first time to have anal sex, here are some things you need to consider:
1. Communication
Talk to your partner. It’s important to keep communication lines open before, during and after anal sex. You can start by talking about it first before doing the actual act. Ask your partner if she’s okay with it, and if she says yes, good for you but never insist on doing it if she doesn’t want to in the first place.
It’s also imperative to talk while having anal sex for the first time. You should ask your partner if she’s okay or if you’re doing it right. You can also vary your movements to find which one you’re both comfortable with.
Lastly, talk about it afterwards. Encourage to share your feelings and thoughts about having anal sex. Is it something you’d want to do regularly? How can you improve your experience in the future? Being open about such matters can make analsex more pleasurable the next time around.
2. Experiment on your own first
When Tim first mentioned butt sex, I needed to do some research how it’s done first. My main concern was if I would feel any pain? Hence I decided to experiment on my own first. I took a condom and wore it on one of my fingers. Then I added a little lube before inserting it into my anus. It felt comfortable, but Tim is bigger than my index finger so I tried doing it with two fingers. I felt my anal muscles stretched and it still felt okay.
But it wasn’t enough so I decided to steps things up and use a dildo. After properly lubing it up I put it in my ass, slowly but surely. Surprisingly, I felt little pain and discomfort, the feeling was more like I wanted to poop. But honestly, it actually felt very nice. Especially when I started masturbating.
3. Eat light
Perhaps one of the things that people are afraid of when it comes to anal sex is the fact that human waste passes through the anus. They don’t like the idea of having poop on their butt -or in the case of men- on their cock. There’s actually a solution for that. If you feel like having anal sex, make sure to eat light a day or two before. This way you won’t have to worry about wastes building up in your large intestines which are ready to go out when stimulated.
4. Cleaning (Douching is an option but not necessary)
Cleaning the anus is a must before anal sex. There are some who prefer douching to remove unnecessary blockages in the anus but it’s not necessary, especially if you had been eating light days before. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of flushing your anus, you can always clean it with warm water or take a shower beforehand.
5. Lubricants
When it comes to analsex, never underestimate the power of lubricants. Bear in mind that unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t natural produce its own lubricant. It’s very dry and tight. You have to use a sufficient amount of lube especially if you’re not using a condom. There are many kinds of lube out there and we’ll tell you more about which is best for anal later in this anal sex guide.
How To Douche For Anal Sex
Anal douching is the thing to do if you want to be sure that there are no bits and pieces left in the rectum. Also known as rectal douching, it involves flushing your butt with water to flush out the small debris.
Since the main demographic for anal sex is gay men, anal douching is usually associated with them. Those who have done their homework will know that men can also douche for masturbation. Prostate play is a lot of mess for a lot of fun, a trade that many men enjoy on a regular basis. Having poop on the toys is rarely a welcome sight so men douche before anal play to keep things as clean as possible
However, douching isn’t absolutely necessary when it comes to analsex. However, there’s no harm in doing it at all before the highly anticipated sexual act. Many couples prefer douching because it gives them peace of mind knowing everything is clean. Want to give it a try? Here are some tips for you:
1. Use the right liquid
A person’s anal lining is both porous and thin. This is important to know for two reasons. First, bacteria, germs, and other nasty stuff like to stick and grow on damp porous surfaces. Second, said nasty stuff can get into the bloodstream through the thin anal wall. Needless to say, making sure that the things that enter the butt are squeaky clean is absolutely important.
Tap water is fine for douching, but don’t do it with tap water all the time. It would be best not to do it that way because tap water has a lot of additives that can get into your system in the wrong ways. Things like fluoride, chlorine, calcium, and electrolytes need to be processed in the body properly to be safe. Getting it straight in the bloodstream bypasses those processes.
If you need to douche often, a cup of purified water mixed with a teaspoon of pure salt is best. We call this “normal saline”. It’s the best way to get the little bits out of your system safely.
For safety purposes, never douche with liquids that aren’t water or saline. The liquid needs to be around the same temperature as your normal body temperature too. And the lining of the anal cavity isn’t built to stand temperatures higher than your skin temperature. Getting a burn there is extremely painful at least and fatal at worst.
2. Use right tools for the job
Squeezing water into your butt with some random bottle of water will not do. Because of the thinness of the lining of the anal cavity, specific tools have been designed to make anal douching as safe as possible.
Any online or local sex store worth its name will have good options for anal douching on their shelves.
3. Take your time
You never want to jam things up your ass too quickly and this is true for anal douching too. A little lube is called for here. Get some on your finger and spread it around the sphincter to loosen it out a bit.
Douching too quickly increases the risk of causing damage to the anal wall. And this makes you more vulnerable to infections, including STIs. A 5 to 6 figure medical bill is not the kind of companion you want after a douche. Take your time and give your anus some preparation.
4. Lube up!
Any anal play veteran will know that lubing up is important. Since I don’t know how deep in you are into your anal play adventure, I’ll echo the message anyway. Always lube up! The sphincter can’t produce its own lubricant. And forcing things in without lubricant is like rubbing your hand through sandpaper.
Specifically for anal douching, doing it dry will damage your anal wall. A damaged anal wall makes you vulnerable to common infections or STIs.
5. Location is key
Anal douching is obviously going to be messy so do it somewhere that’s easy to clean. The bathroom is an obvious choice. I prefer the shower, but others do it near their toilets.
Raise your dominant leg on the toilet or the shower wall so inserting the tool is a little easier.
Run a little lube on your sphincter with your finger. When it’s nice and loose, insert the nozzle in slowly. Squeeze the all of liquid out of the bulb. When it’s all there, clench your sphincter tight to hold the liquid in.
Some people can’t clench hard enough to keep the liquid in. If you need to, go straight on the toilet seat after you put all the liquid in to get as much of the mess in there.
If you can keep the water in, try slightly jumping up and down or doing something to shake the water in your anal cavity a little. Just don’t jump in the shower under any circumstances.
6. Avoid overdoing it
Douching should only be done once per day and about twice or thrice per week.
Even the most veteran person with the perfect anal douching techniques and all the tools for the job won’t do it more than that many times. Douching too often will cause some damage to your insides. This damage builds up, leaving you susceptible to all sorts of infections.
7. Be Patient
The liquid that’s in your ass will take its time to get back out. Stay near the toilet until it does.
I always give it a sort of timetable. I have an hour set just waiting for all of the liquid to leave my system. Taking too little time to get it all out will result in a lot of mess, way more than what we were trying to avoid in the first place.
8. Avoid laxatives
While it’s sort of logical to use laxatives to get things moving faster, laxatives mostly cause more poop to get down your digestive tract. That means more stuff to clean.
Apart from that, laxatives also usually cause abdominal cramping. That’s a big mood-killer in the heat of passion. It’s painful enough to stop you dead in your tracks. Not a good trade if you ask me.
9. Shit happens and it’s okay
Despite all our efforts to stay clean, having poop on unwanted places is inevitable. We can take steps to reduce the odds but know that it will eventually happen.
Shit happens. Try not to be too self-conscious about it. You already knew it’s going to happen, so try to have a sense of humor about it.
In case you want to try anal douching, Tim and I swear by Adam & Eve’s Ultra Douche. This product comes with a simple squeeze bulb that allows you to control water flow and a plastic tip for easy anal penetration. It’s also comfortable to use and easy to clean.
Which Lube is Best For Anal Sex?
The definition of great lube comes down to thickness and duration. Water-based lubricants generally don’t last very long, but they’re compatible with anybody and anything. Modern water-based lubes are a lot thicker and last longer than they used to, so they’re a great choice for regular use. The Wicked Jelle Anal Lubricant is the best for me and it’s the one I use personally. It’s thick, condom-safe, and overall great for analsex. It lasts for a long time even though it’s water-based too.
For beginners, anal lubes with desensitizers are also available. These dull the sensations of sex in the butt, both pain and pleasure. I used Adam & Eve Easy Anal Desensitizing Gel when I was starting out. It uses a 7.5% benzocaine formula for its desensitizing agent. And it was the right balance between dull and pleasurable for me while I was getting used to anal play. It’s water-based too, so it works well with anything you use it with.
Best Position For First Time Anal
Good anal sex comes down to communication, relaxation, and a lot of lubrication. Making sure that everything is right and ready is important because anal sex can be dangerous without the preparations. People don’t just jump into backdoor sex like birds learning to fly. Developing the comfort and experience for good backdoor sex takes a while. As for the positions, here are six that you can try for your 1st time anal attempt. They’re also great options to add some variety to your repertoire. With a lot of communication, patience, and technique, you can get to the best butt sex sessions of your life.
1. Doggy Style
The classic doggy is probably the first position most beginners will try. Changing the classic position a little leads to a big difference in experience though. Have the receiver lower their head and upper body on the bed. A sex wedge can provide the necessary amount of support for this position, but any pillow will do. The angle allows the G-spot and prostate to align closer to the surface and this means better stimulation overall. Just know that it can be hard to communicate through body language in this position. Be vocal about what you’re feeling all the time.
2. Cowgirl
This position is a no-brainer for anal sex and should be familiar to most couples. It’s also a good position to try if you’ve never been on top before. A good thing about having anal with the cowgirl position is it naturally leaves your front bits open. Your partner has two free hands to use to get to those easily.
The best part of the cowgirl position by far is the switching of control roles. The receiver has all the control in this position with all their upper body weight and leg strength driving the action. It can be as deep and as fast as the receiver wants it to be, which is something not a lot of other positions offer naturally.
3. Missionary
The rectum is normally curved inwards. One way to get it to straighten out is to curve the back, which is great for anal sex. Anal penetration becomes a lot more comfortable this way. Modify the regular missionary position by resting the receiver’s legs on the giver’s shoulders or around the giver’s waist. This gives the receiver the necessary support to curve their back for as long as their legs can hold. As a finisher, have the receiver hold their knees to their chest. This puts some extra pressure on the prostate/G-spot area. It feels amazing, but it’s taxing on the limb muscles.
4. Spooning
Couples who like to take their time during sex will have a lot of fun with the spooning position. It’s flexible, comfortable, and it can work no matter what size you are. Anal sex is possible in this position whether the couple is facing each other or facing the same direction. Anal penetration is a lot shallower, but the position also allows both partners to have easy access to each other’s bodies. There are a lot more ways to stimulate a person than just anal sex, and combining those techniques makes for a great time.
How To Have Anal Sex for Beginners
It’s normal to feel a little hesitant about anal if it’s your first time. It’s a whole new experience compared to the vaginal penetrative sex you’re accustomed to. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to try anal. Here are some anal sex tips to help you and your partner get anal done right:
1. Start slow
Always start with foreplay. Nothing prepares you best for anal sex than lots of foreplay. Tell your man to do it slowly and since it’s going to be a tight fit apply lots of anal lube. It can help ease his way into you anus.
2. Relax/Breathing
Another reason why you need to have foreplay is to keep you both relaxed to what will happen next. If you feel stressed out, there’s a possibility for you anal muscles to contract making it harder for your man’s cock to enter your behind.
3. Toys/fingers/tongue
This image show Fifty Shades Of Grey Pleasure that is one of the best anal beads in our reviewDid you know you can use sex toys during anal sex? And there are many to choose from! Among the ones we highly recommend are butt plugs or anal beads. These toys can be inserted inside the anus, allowing the muscles to get used to the idea of having something stuck in your butt.
In case you don’t have any anal sex toys, we recommend using your fingers (but be sure to apply lube). Another way is to have your partner lick you there (aka a rimjob).
4. Stop if it hurts!
As mentioned earlier, you have to communicate with each other before, during and after anal sex. Many find this sexual act uncomfortable and painful especially for first timers. In case you feel any pain or discomfort, tell your partner right away so he can stop. Anal sex should be enjoyed by both of you.
5. Dealing With Anal Sex Aftermath
So you’ve finally had anal sex. What’s next? Well, there are many things you can do, but the obvious is a proper cleanup. Personally, we prefer to shower together to get rid of all that lube and mess we’ve created.
Clean yourself up thoroughly!
Once you’re done, you can go back and cuddle in bed. Enjoy the glowing aftermath of having backdoor sex for the first time and knowing you can both satisfy each other this way. Tim loves it if I put my head on his chest while he has his arms around me. We could then talk about what just happened and be open about our feelings.
Our First Anal Sex Story
Long before Tim and I got married we already had anal sex and we can still remember the first time we did it as if it was only yesterday. We were celebrating his promotion at work in a fancy restaurant where we had wine and steak. Afterwards, we went back to his apartment for “dessert”.
We were both in the tub naked when he asked me if I ever thought about having anal sex with him. We’ve done just about every sex position in the book but we never really had analsex before. The idea excited me so I asked him to dry himself up and wait for me on the bed while I cleaned up. I never thought about douching before but I did use running water to thoroughly clean my ass.
I joined him in bed and soon we were kissing each other hungrily while our hands roamed each other’s bodies. It was an amazing foreplay as we could still taste the intoxicating wine from our lips. We were hot, horny, and completely aroused.
Tim turned me over and I settled into a doggy position. I watched him took a tube of his favorite lube and applied a generous amount of the liquid all over his cock. It was so big and I was a little afraid he would tear me up. However, he knew I was worried but he told me there was nothing to worry about because we will do it together slowly.
He started kissing my neck and back while his hands squeezed my tits. Then he spread my legs apart as I braced myself for his entrance. As promised, he entered me slowly. I felt the slippery lube brushed my skin and when he entered, I felt my anus stretched to accommodate his manhood.
Tim is big but thanks to the lube, I didn’t feel pain at all.
However, there was a slight discomfort because I actually started feeling like I wanted to poop which I believe was completely normal. It’s like having a big poop stuck in your butt but it was also erotic at the same time especially as he started to push and pull inside me. It was an amazing experience. While doing so, he was saying comforting words to me and asking me if I was okay.
It struck me that I could never make myself climax through backdoor sex unless I can also stimulate my clit and Tim knew it too. He started to finger fuck me as he continued to pound my anus.
Meanwhile, I used my fingers to stimulate my clit. The fact that I was being double penetrated made me even more aroused than I already was. I told him I was coming and he said the same thing. He pounded me harder and deeper as his fingers went in and out of my pussy. I felt the tension build up in my body and soon we were both screaming in ecstasy.
Afterwards, we had shower together and then curled up in bed. We talked about what happened and how much we enjoyed it. We also thought of other kinky ideas on how to make anal sex even more fun and pleasurable for both of us.
In closing
Anal sex is a great way to express your love for each other. Tim and I agreed that it made our relationship stronger and our sex lives hotter. Try it yourself and we promise you, you’ll never regret it!
/Sandra
Originally published on https://www.mysextoyguide.com/anal-sex-guide/