I long for a world where people focus less on the social awkwardness of the situation and examine who is really hurting and why.
Last night I was at a social and I was partying for a while, got tired so I sat down. A man came and tried to give me a lap dance while I was sitting; he dove on to me head first. I managed to push him off and he went away. After this, one of the people I was there with whispered in my ear- (You could have pushed him off you know), indicating that she saw the ordeal, realized it was wrong but did nothing to help.
The second incident occurred when the same man approached me later that night and tried to slap my ass, I lifted a fist and said no, not tonight and turned to go my way. The moment I turned my back I felt a slap square on my left ass cheek, I turned around to see who it was and noticed the same man turning away quickly with a smirk on his face. Angered and hurt, I immediately grabbed him and threw him up against the nearest wall which was about a foot away. A crowd then came which included my Fiance and others to tear me away from him. Everyone asked, what happened and I could only say, he slapped my ass after I said no.
It had seemed like everyone understood the ordeal until I got home and my Fiance decided to regale me with all the comments that were made. "She shouldn't have responded that way", "Man a get beat up fi a slap batty", "It was so socially awkward", "Oh, she's pregnant, she shouldn't have been here" inter alia. With all this ringing in my ear plus the memory of everyone telling me it was ok and that's how they do at these events and he was just drunk, I felt dirty, cold and alone and all I wanted was to be held so the trust I had for men in my space could slowly come back. But all I got was reprimand about how I should have acted and to let my space protect me.
With what happened before and what the responses were, what space would have protected me?