“You mean someone will take her from us?”
“No my love. I think she is dying. I think we were too late.”
320
“How do you mean!! I do not believe it!”
“Every time we dance I give her of myself. Next time we see her she has lost it all. My healer cannot help. Our particles just will not ‘stick’ to her. It seems she is not creating any of her own. Oh Dommi, if her body died, but her spirit lived, we could all go to her, become the Kaleidoscope World. It is not her body that is dying, it is her spirit. How do we live with that?”
Now I no longer could control my grief. For once even Dommi was not there for me. She was locked in her own shock and pain - and fury!
“How could you keep this secret!!?”
“Do you want Wendy to know? I’m sorry, it is not the true reason. I was being a coward, I could not even tell myself. I tried to hide it from me, or I tried to hide from it. Dommi, ask your healer, can it find a way?”
Dominique left me. I carried her and put her on our bed. I was very angry with myself. How could I have buried this, refused to look it in the eye and not try to find a way to save her. I had wasted precious time. The protector came to me, using emoting it admitted it saw this as damaging all the girls and forced me to hide the truth. It believed the healer, there is no way to save Wendy. The protector had trembled on the verge of extinction itself, having failed in its duty and only its need to save the others had kept it going. Even through my grief I felt a vicious anger at my protector. By taking a decision on my behalf it had stopped me from trying to save my darling baby. It was almost a relief also in a way, as I felt I no longer had to blame myself - until I recalled that the protector is actually a part of myself.
I wanted to lay my head on Dommi’s breast and cry, but I did not dare begin, for then I might end up admitting defeat. I could not stay here alone, so I lay next to her and flew to the void. I was met by a sight that nearly sent me back to my body.
For as far as I could see the veils of Dommi had stretched, thinned to less than a fundamental particle depth. I feared to disrupt those veils with the weight of my light.
*Dominique. The baby, where is it? What are you doing?*
She did not answer me, but our tiny daughter did. She tried to soothe me. I was terrified of handling this the wrong way and called Cherine. She came and froze as I had. Before I could explain they were all with us.
*I don’t know what she is doing. Our daughter tells me we must not worry. Cherine, what can we do?*
Wendy, my poor sweet thinned little soul, not knowing what was happening, saw my helplessness and panicked. She threw herself into me. Before I had time to react we had melded. She had come into me to save me, to stop me from dissolving. I repaid her by showing her my own fears of her extinction. It was not voluntary, she had caught me by surprise. She collapsed, releasing the heart of the core of her soul to disperse throughout me. I screamed for Cherine, for the healer, the protector, Dommi, anyone who could help.
They all came, except for Dommi, and what I had feared happened. We became the Kaleidoscope World.
321
I looked out and saw the veils and knew what Dommi is doing. She is convinced Wendy’s father is out there, that he is draining her to keep himself alive. She is looking for him, to offer herself in place of Wendy. I called to her. She rippled, the veil slowly undulating, but did not respond.
I sent out a mist of energy to gather her, but she evaded it.
*Send me Cherine, I need to talk to her.* *I am here, you can talk.* *Send Cherine.*
I felt the guests arrive in the void. I welcomed them and shared a brief moment of myself, showing them their own potential World and then sent them out to live their lives, create their own circle. I diminished myself and sent out Cherine.
I was Robert again. The healer/protector rushed to collect what there is of Wendy. They could not find the core, the part that is the “I”. She was gone. I refused to accept that. She was somewhere within me, she had to be.
*Dommi, Cherine, can either of you do what Wendy did. Remember how she saw and lit up for us our babies. Can you do that? Can you help find Wendy?* *No.* *No* *Cherine, what about your link to her. Trace her from that.* *There is no link Robert, she broke it.*
*Dommi damn it, only your mothering instinct can help. Forget about that bastard, if he exists. You must come back to save Wendy now.*
A small world, a tiny form of light swooped down on us, without communicating, going into Cherine. Two of them left and came to me. My non-existent heart stopped as they swooped into me. My babies! I would swallow them and I could do nothing to stop them. This was compounding our problem and my soul trembled with fear. Why wasn’t the protector…oh god, it was also within me, busy trying to find Wendy.
The two flew out of me and danced to each other, their speed increasing until they were a circular blur. For a second I was so relieved/happy they still exist that it took me a moment to understand what I was sensing. In the center a shape took form. The healer/protector brought the treasure of her motes and sent them in to the shape. I told them to send in all they could of me. My offer was immediately echoed by all the others.
*No. Do not send of yourselves. Let her be.* Dommi shivered and swayed in front of us. *We cannot save Wendy. She is not able to ‘hold’ our essence. It is as if she has an antibody that rejects us. We have two options. We find the antibody and neutralise it - yes Roberto, I think you are right, it must be her father, what is left of him - or else we split her, just the core, and let our babies absorb her so that she still remains a part of us.*
*How did they do that. Find her I mean* *They are both linked to her. Roberto, my darling, there is nothing you can fight, if he is a part of her, you would have to destroy her to get rid of him. Live for the rest of us please.*
*Neither. I will not die, but I will not give up. She is mine now, not his. I’m sorry, she is ours. Would you die for Cherine or me, but not for Wendy?* *I will stay with you.* *No Cherine, you must all go back once the babies return. Watch her body, keep her alive.* *Dommi and mummy can do that. I am staying.*
*Cherine you promised to obey. You will go!* *No Robert. I cannot. How would you bring her back? I have to be here to link to her. She is the only one who knows how to move the soul without a link. I am staying and you can punish me later.* *Punish you? For being right? I’m sorry my love, I cannot think straight, my heart is breaking.*
Gently she replied, *I know, so is mine.*
We waited, dancing around our babies and Wendy, sometimes brushing against each other, giving our love as a sharing to ease our pain and fear. When we began to sense Wendy, our dancing stopped and we waited, pulsing with our anxiety.
*Why don’t you want me anymore Robbie?* *Want you? I want you with all my heart baby. But I want you alive, not just a tiny part of me. I want you to grow with us, I want you to have my baby, even babies. I thought you wanted that too?*
For those readers who have not understood, when they speak using telepathy, what they say is enclosed within stars, and the thoughts exchanged are in italic. e.g Hi, I bet you are wishing you could read thoughts.?