Since I was a kid I have often had to look at my fears in the face and say enough is enough but each time I get knocked down and I say to my subconscious mind that maybe I am not just ready to fight it or maybe it wasn't meant to be and each time I ended up settling for less than I deserve, I was losing the war against fear and at the same time killing my self esteem slowly.
When I got to college I get the accusing fingers pointed at me and I am unable to stand up for myself.
In my words fear is simply the death of your self esteem and the dominance of disbelieve in you.
I wanted to be like other kids, great at what I do and loved by everyone but even before I try I get discouraged by my friends who think am never going to be good enough. I got involved in more activities to build my believe and self esteem but nobody wanted to team up with me because they had tagged me a loser and a failure.
I joined the annual swimming competition because ever since I was a kid I loved to swim and because in this sport you are your own team, your own soldier and your own army. For weeks I trained really hard telling myself I can do it, I can get the gold only if I believe.
That faithful day I stood at the edge of the pool and watched the amazing crowd and everyone was cheering for their favourite athletes but not a single person called out my name except my mom who held out a banner saying John you are a conqueror this words echoed in my hear as the gun was short to signify the start of the race... One stroke after the other I swam really hard with only one thought in mind, gold... You are worth nothing but the gold medal and nothing less... As I got to the finish line I realized a sense of silence and when I rose my head to see what was wrong I realized not only had I won the competition but also broken the record of the fastest time... Soon the disbelieve waved away and a sound of cheers from the crowd as the sang my name... It was a miracle that finally I defeated fear and I conquered.
Image source - pixabay
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