She woke up shivering on the ruthlessly frigid concrete downtown with rain pelting her soft rosy cheeks. "Damn it!", she snapped, aggravated at her current situation. She was cold, wet, empty stomached and she certainly could use a cigarette to soften her mood. Passerbyers glared down over their prideful noses at her and whispered snarky comments to each other in judgement as she cumbersomely attempted to stand up. She stumbled a little and realized that she felt stiff from the selfish, icy air that consumed her body's heat. And that concrete- it was practically soul-sucking it was so wintery! Another day was upon her and her only choices were depressing.
"Hey, there, sugar- wanna make some quick money? I promise I'll be real gentle with you." She turned around to find herself face to face with another creep that looked just like all the other creeps who wanted to take advantage of her. Various responses flashed through her mind from "Fuck off and die!" to "Sure thing. Let's go." She could use the money and he wouldn't be the worst person she ever entertained for a hot meal. But this morning, she was not in the mood.
"Thanks but no thanks. Ya got a cigarette?" She surprised even herself that she had asked him for anything.
"NO! Show me your ti..."
She cut him off by flashing him her middle finger instead of what she already knew he was going to ask her to flash and stumbled down the sidewalk, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Maybe someone would offer her a hot cup of coffee if she wandered over near the donut shop, she thought; a cigarette and cup of hot coffee. That sounded phenomenal.
As she wearily daydreamed of the hopeful possibilities of the morning, she felt a forceful hand grab her by the arm, spin her around and slap her in the face so hard that she was stunned for several moments. "Listen here, you little bitch! You're gonna do what I tell you to do, or I'm going to beat the smart-ass right out of you and leave you behind a dumpster!"
She struggled to free herself, but found that this predator was much stronger than she was. She opened her mouth to yell for help, but he turned around and slapped her hard in the face again, splitting her lip open, and continued to drag her off to the nearby alley. A tear escaped from her eye, but not because of the pain; because she didn't want to suffer this fate again. "Not again...!" she sobbed under her breath.
"I don't think you want to do that." A deep and authoritative voice emerged behind them from out of an arched doorway that they had just passed by. It was a deep and penetrating voice that reached into the soul and mind and exemplified a god-like quality that was difficult to describe. She felt a chill of relief well up inside of her and she knew what it meant to be in awe of a hero.
"Mind your own business!" the perpetrator snapped back at the hero. "This doesn't concern you!"
"I comprehend the words that you are saying to me, but I'm warning you. You don't want to do that. Let her go." The brave stranger stood straight and tall and gazed right into the eyes of her attacker. He didn't flinch. He didn't waver. He didn't blink. The sleazy man paused for long moments and his eyes reflected the thoughts going through his mind, weighing out his options and their potential consequences.
"Whatever!", he retorted with a snort. "Stupid bitch isn't even worth it anyways. She'd probably be a waste of my time and she looks like she bites." With a violent shove, he tossed her away as if she was a piece of garbage he was done with. She would have tripped and fallen on her face if the heroic stranger had not caught her.
She began to thank the kind stranger and regain her balance when his mysterious eyes caught her like a deer in the headlights. "Oh my god- so cliche!" she thought to herself. "Deer in the headlights... Get yourself together!" she rebuked her own thoughts and feelings knowing that she didn't know anything about this guy either, really. What if he was a creep, too?
"Would you like a cigarette?" He had hoped that it would help her calm down a little. "I'd like to buy you a cup of coffee, too, if you will let me. No strings attached. Just coffee and a conversation. That's it. You look like you could use a minute indoors to warm up and wake up."
She chuckled to herself, thinking, "You have no idea how much I need to 'wake up'!", but instead of saying that, she simply said, "Sure. Why not?" and grabbed the cigarette he had offered to her with a jittery, over-adrenalined hand. "Thanks."
"No problem." he stated flatly. He waited for her to smoke the cigarette, uninterrupted, then, he lead the way into the donut shop holding the door open for her like a true gentleman.
After ordering coffee and some fruit and muffins, they sat down in a private booth that faced the window. She turned to peer out the window and see what it looked like to be on the inside of it for once. It fogged up from her breath and all she could think of was that it was too hot in there. She was acclimated to colder surroundings. But it was still nice. And she realized that she felt safe for the first time in a really, really long time.
"Harley. They call me Harley. I mean... you were, like, just staring so I thought, you know, maybe you wanted to know my name. Well, it's not my name. Not my real name. That's just what people call me. People call me Harley." She suddenly felt a little embarrassed and confused about why she was over explaining herself. Why was she so nervous? She was usually more calm and collected than that. He made her feel safe, somehow, but nervous. Why, she wondered...
"I see you.", the stranger stated simply.
"Ummm...okaaaay... I see you, too. What does that mean?" She began to think maybe this guy wasn't the best person to hang out with after all and she was about to excuse herself politely when he put his hand out and gently touched her forehead.
"I see you, Harley, and I am here to help you. But I don't have very much time with you, so I need you to listen to me so that I can help you." He paused for a length of time, eyes locked with hers to indicate the importance of the words he was saying to her, then simply stated, "...or don't."
Harley realized that he was not manipulating her or trying to impress her or to swindle or sway her in any negative way. She couldn't express it, really, but she knew; she knew that he was here to help her and that he would not harm her or hurt her or abuse her. She knew she could trust him.
"Go on...", she said. "I'm listening."
She picked up a muffin, gulped down a hot splash of coffee that made her sputter a little from the scalding temperature, and tore off a crumbly mouthful of the blueberry crumble pastry. As she shoved the over-sized bite into her mouth, a trail of morsels sprinkled down her chin, chest and onto her lap. She chomped at it like she hadn't eaten in a week. Her lips smacked and slurped at the baked delight while her open lips revealed her tongue rolling the chunks back and forth in her mouth from side to side.
"I don't think you know who you are." The words of the hero were simple and accusatory.
"Who are you to tell me anything about myself?!", she irritably retorted and flashed him a glare of borderline hostility.
"You are more than you think you are." He paused for a moment to allow Harley to absorb his simple message. "You don't remember. You have forgotten."
"That's great and all, but I don't know what that means and I don't understand what you want from me."
The hero sighed as he acknowledged the challenge that he was faced with. He leaned his head back looking upwards and whispered something towards the unseen heavens above that Harley couldn't quite make out. He turned his attention back towards the confused girl, cleared his throat and began again.
"You are not trash, Harley. You are worth more than you know. I was sent here to try to help you see that. I can't change you. No one can change you except for you. But you won't change unless you, 1- see that you need to change, and, 2- want to change. But if you can't see the issues within yourself that need to be corrected, how can you even desire to change?"
His words made a funny kind of sense, but she still wasn't even all the way awake yet and her head was fuzzy from all the hitting. She nodded at him as he spoke to reflect that she was listening, but he could see the perplexed look in her eyes.
"Okay. It's like this: If you pick up that muffin and eat it without care, you will end up with crumbs on yourself. If you eat with your mouth open, you will be perceived as someone who doesn't have social graces, or manners, as it were. You might end up with muffin spilling out of your mouth and you will certainly end up wasting some of it because of your carelessness."
Before he could finish what he was saying, she snapped at him, "Hey! I didn't come with you just so you could insult me and try to be my father or something! I don't need this!"
She grabbed her coffee and moved to scoot her chair out so she could leave, but with a gentle hand, the stranger reached out and, without grabbing her, placed his hand on her arm. She snapped a look of resentment towards him, but immediately realized that she had made an assumption that was not accurate. He was not trying to insult her. He was trying to project an illustration so that she could comprehend what it was he was trying to explain to her.
"Go on.", she mumbled and leaned back in her seat again.
The hero cleared his throat and started again. "As I was saying, if you, instead, eat the muffin with intent, with specific care, you will have little to no crumbs on yourself. You won't waste any of it. And quite importantly, you will be perceived as someone who has manners; someone who cares enough about themself to maintain an acceptable image. People who don't know you may assume that you do not care about yourself, whether you actually do or not, because you don't appear a certain way to them. And it is because of the reflection of your inner self that is seeping out that people want to take advantage of you. Predators seek out those who do not believe in themselves because they are easy prey."
His words made sense to her. She had never thought of it that way before. She had never realized that people can absorb so much about her simply by watching her behaviors and mannerisms. She suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable. And quite embarrassed, too.
"Oh. I guess I never really thought about it like that before.", she repeated, this time out loud.
He smiled slightly and she wondered if it was because she was getting what he was saying or because she had confessed that she had never thought about the obvious before.
"You are a smart young lady, Harley. I was sent to you because there is hope for you. If there was not hope for you, I would not have come here."
His words were so mysterious to her. Was he sent from heaven? Was he from the future? Was he telepathic? Who was this hero? And why her? Out of all the people in all the world, or even possibly worlds, why her? She suddenly felt special, like she really did matter to some force in the universe.
"Like I said, Harley, I don't have much time with you and I have so much to teach you, to share with you. I need you to really listen to what I say and truly absorb what it means. Never forget- you are valuable." He looked her dead in the eyes and when he said she was valuable, it was as if another energy was saying it through him to her.
"I... I guess I just never really.... I dunno..." She struggled to articulate her emotions and all the lame thoughts she had always had about herself. "I was never really told nice things like that. I've been told that I'm good for other stuff and I've been told lots and lots of bad things about myself. I've been unwanted and tossed aside my whole life. I don't understand why I'm so special now all of a sudden."
She began to feel almost resentful that the "universe", or whatever, would now, all of a sudden, be so keen on sending a messenger to her. What about when she was a little girl and so abused and unprotected? What about when she had sat in the corner and cut her own flesh or when she would hide in the alleyways and pull out her hair? What about all the other 'what about this's and what about that's'?
"Timey-whimey." was his only response.
She picked up another bite of muffin, already self conscious about taking a bite of it. She was more careful this time, and even though a few crumbs tumbled down, her bite was dainty and she chewed with her mouth closed. He caught her smirk and gave her a half-smile and a nod. She was a fast learner and he felt proud of her.
"Harley. We have only been sitting here for about twenty minutes or so, and you have not only listened to my first lesson, you have applied it to your life. You are intelligent and I can see that I am not wasting my time. I am optimistic for you and now I am confident in myself, too, knowing that I carry messages worth passing along. Thank you."
She was caught off guard by his gratitude. People didn't usually treat her like that. It made her feel pretty good. She felt empowered that she could be a positive influence in the world. So that's what it felt like.
They sat and chatted, sipping hot coffee and sampling muffins and fruit together for hours. They listened to each other, they laughed and joked, they pondered deep thoughts together and questioned one another about various wonders from favorite whatevers, to universal truths and mysteries. The hero, constantly aware that his messages of self-worth must be poured out on Harley, and Harley herself, aware that the hero was selflessly there to help her and so she clung to his words and lessons as if they were precious gold.
"I think I understand now.", Harley expressed with tears in her eyes and delight in her spirit. "I think I understand how I've been thinking has had a negative effect on me and that it shows in my behaviors and mannerisms. People treat me a certain way because that's what they see in me. They don't know me and so they assume that what I am projecting outwards is what's inside of me. Well, I mean, I guess it is because it couldn't come out of me if it wasn't in me already. But, like, that's not really me. So they just sort of, I guess, see me as something I'm not. And if I want to be treated differently, I have to think differently so that I can act different and then I can truly BE different. I think I get it now. I think maybe you have fixed me!"
The hero sat back and for the first time flashed a complete smile at Harley. There was so much satisfaction in his eyes and his demeanor accentuated his accomplishment. All of his initial doubts about trying to help this lost soul were quenched by the reality of her initiation and exemplary sharp intellect. She had a strong spirit about her and he knew that she was going to be better than okay. This star was going to rise in the sky.
"You have not disappointed me, Harley. You have figured out in this short time what most others don't figure out in an entire lifetime, maybe longer, even. I am confident in you and I am convinced that you are going to thrive and no longer be a victim. You now understand that you are more; you are important."
She blushed and accepted his words as Truth.
"I have to go now, Harley. I have more work to do."
"NO! Please! Please don't leave yet. At least not right now. Can't we just..." She stopped herself when she saw his facial reactions. She knew that even though they both had enjoyed each other's company that he did not belong to her and that he did, indeed, have more work to do. Of course he did. Even a fool could recognize that.
"Don't worry, kid. You got this.", he said with a wink. "I have to go to another now. She needs me."
Harley turned towards the window that not long ago was fogged up and cold as ice but now was a portal to a sunny day with chirpy birds singing and wispy clouds lazily floating by. She took a deep breath and embraced the renewing of her mind. It was going to be different now. She knew it.
"But how can I thank you?" She turned towards the hero, but he had vanished. She flashed her eyes this way and that, but he was nowhere to be seen. There was no way he could have made it to the door and out in that amount of time and she would have seen him pass by the window, too. He had just...vanished. But in her mind, she heard a distant echo of his voice answering her question: "You are priceless. Remember my lessons. Live what you have learned." And she determined to do so.
"Thank you, hero. I will"
