Last week I found out that I am not the father of my son. I was not in a relationship with this woman. Although at the time he was conceived, we were at the tail end of our relationship. We were not talking much. She broke up with me several times before. I figured it was over. We had sex maybe twice unprotected, but I never ejaculated inside her. I still felt he was my son.
I had much suspicion through the years:
- She kept in contact with her ex boyfriend
- She kept bringing up some guy from work
- I did not ejaculate inside her
- She would not allow me to see him unless she has control of the situation (example: not allowing him to sleep over my house, not allowing my current partner to see him, etc).
Through the years she made it increasingly difficult for me to have a relationship with him. One day I called him on the phone and he seemed to get anxiety, saying to his mother "I don't want to lie anymore" in the background. I ask her what about that in text messages, she refuses to answer my texts for months, no answer for Thanksgiving or Christmas either.
Finally she tried to take me for child support. I offered to take him full time since I am currently a stay at home dad/student. She said no. I then proceeded to hire a lawyer. I myself refuse to pay any child support without a DNA test. Finally last week I received the results, and they were negative (0.0%).
I find it insane that she played this facade for nine years all the way to the court room. She should really seek a mental health professional. I know that I was a tool to her from the beginning (she said things like "I am only living with you so my brother can go to school"), but how in the world can she use her own son as a tool against me?
Let this be a lesson to fathers who are not living with their children and the child's mother does not facilitate a relationship between him and the child. Go out to CVS and buy a take home test as soon as you can. I did once, I swabbed the child, but I did not feel good sending it to the lab. I then threw the specimen out. Big mistake.
I am just glad that this is over. I feel alive again.