So close to good things and light years away at the same time. Just surviving is good enough I guess. I need to let go of everything and totally surrender to the fact there aren't any friends anymore. It's insanely hot. Loud. Crowded. Nowhere to park. No one to go anywhere with. Traffic everywhere. I keep dreaming of forests and cool ocean breezes and cliffs and rocks and open space. A friend or two... delusions at best