Hey guys, this is my first post on Steemit. This platform is really exciting and I hope we can share some amazing ideas here.
So this is a short story that's very personal to me and I've never really shared it with anyone I know.
Please do review it and let me know. Thanks!
Hopeless Hope.
Segment One:
“Holy moses, it’s rainin’ cats and dogs today eh bruh?” said Juan with his small bubbly nose twitching. Across the hall, a young man cascading into his early 20’s nodded vaguely, absolutely paying no attention to his friend.
“What the frack is wron’ with ya? When will you let her go? She ain’t coming back bruh!
I swear I’ll rip ya Indian head apart if you are gon’ whine about her! Cabeza de mierda!”
Neel stood up, he felt a rush in his head, he tried to remember the last time he had a proper meal.
“Yes, she wore pink that day, her hair spiralling down, covering a part of her face, that tanned skin, that short skirt revealing her luscious legs, and her eyes! Those brown eyes! Damn, one look at her and his body was on fire, that fire which can never be extinguished. Yes, her sight was the last feast I had” He waved goodbye to Juan and left the hall.
Segment Two:
Next summer Neel graduated from the University of Buffalo, he decided to go back to his parents in Chennai, Tamilnadu.
There a voice in his head “Going back to India will bring back those memories, what will you do then? Are you so naive that you want to go to that place where you lost a part of yourself?”
He slammed his suitcase and stormed out of his house.
“Aiyo Ramaa, my kanna is home” screamed Amma. The entire neighbourhood gathered around to welcome the Engineer.
Neel was overwhelmed and nauseated at the same time. He managed a crooked smile and rushed to his home.
Amma was standing there with a traditional Aarthi Thaali in her hand. Tears welled down her cheeks and she hugged his son.
Neel was content. To his surprise, he was glad that he was home, back to his country, where he belonged. He took a warm look at his room. Nostalgia hit him. Countless memories stored in every single toy, in every single pen and book. He looked at a wooden box lying across the table. His hands were shaking and suddenly he was spiralling, he saw himself in a classroom, everyone in the room was writing the examination. He saw himself, scared looking at the empty refill of his pen. Then, there was a gentle touch on his shoulders. “Here, take my box. It has everything you need” whispered Anandi.
Neel came back to his senses. Reality drew in.
He took a final look at the box. He took a deep breath and mumbled.
“Why Anandi why?”
Next morning, Neel was woken up with a huge smack on his torso. He gasped for breath and when he got back his senses, he saw his younger brother Veer.
“My God, he is a fucking giant now, he has grown double since the last time I saw him” he wondered.
“An--Anna! I gave you Undertaker smack” said Veer with his cheeks red with happiness.
Neel couldn’t believe that his brother was 16 years old now! But he knew one thing for sure. His love for him was absolute. He gave Veer a tight hug and started playing with him.
Veer suffered from autism. Also he was slow. Physically he was flawless but he was 4 years younger mentally.
Neel got a job in Chennai and completely drowned himself with work. Oftentimes, nightmares woke him up drenched in sweat.
“Neel, I have loved you more than anything but…”
His only escape was Veer. He worked through day and spent the evening playing with Veer.
Veer was slow, it took him long enough to understand that his brother was bothered about something.
One evening while playing carrom, he asked Neel, “Anna, wh--what is wrong?”
Neel was surprised, he didn't see this coming.
He replied, “Hey dumbo, why do you feel something is wrong? Play it is your turn”
Veer started shouting “I WANNA KNOW I WANNA KNOW”
Neel had no choice. He said “This is a long story, I’ll tell you but promise me that you won't tell it to anyone” Veer nodded.
Segment Three:
“Ammaaaaa, today is my first day of the last year at school. Just one more year, then I’ll join a law college and then I’ll be a lawyer and then I’ll get justice to innocent people and punishment for bad people” sang Anandi in her melodious voice. Her voice was echoed across the hall. She hugged her mother and hopped out of the door.
Only if she had any clue that that day will change her life.
Neel was entirely different person. His curly hair and green eyes charmed every girl. He was rather complacent and eccentric and suave.
He wanted to be an engineer and innovate. He wanted to take over the world.
Until he met her.
To his astonishment, the classes were swapped, and their were some new girls in the class. First time he saw her, he felt a rush through his stomach. It was something he never felt before.
Anandi was focussed and determined to be a lawyer, nothing else mattered. Not even that cute guy with those green eyes.
“But just look at him, he’s like a chocolate, and he’s looking at me, I think he likes me. Oh my goodness. What do I do”
She just couldn't help but smile.
Neel was on the top of the world!
Slowly, greetings gave way to talking. They became good friends.
He used to walk Anandi to her home everyday.
It was evident that he was irretrievably in love with her.
The year came to an end with the farewell.
Anandi wore a pink skirt and she was the most beautiful girl that night.
Neel stammered “Anan--Anandi you look wonderful tonight, may I da--dance with you?”
Everyone that night noticed something. They saw true love and the connection between them was elegant. It was like, they were the only people in the world. Nothing else mattered.
After the farewell, everyone bid goodbye to each other for you may never meet them again.
Neel just couldn’t let go of her hand.
He just didn’t want this night to end. They sang hymns until they reached Anandi’s home.
It was a full moon night and it couldn’t get more romantic.
Neel said, “Anandi, I want to tell you something”
Anandi felt her heart beating fast, “Yes Neel”
“Anandi, this year was the most amazing year of my life. I’ve never been happier. It is because of only one reason and that’s you.
You, you complete me. I cannot imagine spending even a day without you.
You make feel, everything.
I love you, Anandi. God knows I do.”
He gently placed his lips on hers.
Anandi held his hand. She was in tears. At first, Neel thought that she was overwhelmed but then he noticed that she started crying.
Neel took her face in his hands and asked her, “Is something wrong? Don’t you love me?”
Anandi sobbed and mustered up courage, “Neel, I have loved you more than anything but…”
Her mother saw her on the doorstep and called her home.
Neel asked, “BUT WHAT?”
She had to go.
Veer was in tears, “Then? Then you met her right? And sh--she told you that sh--she loved you right?”
Neel was on the verge of a breakdown, he took a deep breath and said, “No, that was the last time I ever saw her. You were too small that time Veer but you used to play with her, called her Nandi di. Anyway, she went to Mumbai the next day to pursue her dream. I tried contacting her but she never responded. I went Mumbai to search for her but in vain. Her mother won’t tell me where she is because Anandi said her not to. Heartbroken, I decided to go abroad. Away from everything. Away from her memories, but I can’t escape her. Why did she do this to me. Why?” Neel broke down to tears.
“Anna, Nandi di is Anandi?”
“Yes kanna”
“B---but, after you went abroad, sh--she came home once”
“What! Then what did she say? What happened?”
“She went to your room and after a while, she came out crying and rushed out of the door. She didn’t even tell me bye”
“Did she come back again?” whispered Neel.
“Amma said that Nandi di had blood cancer. Sh--She was diagnosed with it right after her school exams”
“What the hell? Are you sure Veer?”
“Y---yes” sobbed Veer.
“Did Amma tell you where she is?”
“An--Anna, she died 3 years ago.”
Segment Four:
(3 months later..)
Neel was standing at the top of a five-storeyed building. His heart was racing.
He felt the wind gushing in his lungs gently touching his cheeks.
He looked down, he looked how deep it was
“Do it”
“But I am not sure”
He felt stupid talking to himself.
He looked at the wooden box and opened it up.
There was a smile on his face on looking at that pen and erasers.
“What the hell is that, where did that come from” wondered Neel.
There was a small note lying next to the eraser.
He could feel his pulse. He took the note and opened it. That piece of paper smelled like her.
And once again, he became a 16 year old kid.
“Neel. I don’t know if you will ever read this and I also don’t know if you can ever forgive me. Neel, I cherish every moment spent with you. You are my first love and yes I’ll always love you. I know I’ve kept you in dark all these years but the reason I chose not to be with you is because I loved you way too much. I’m dying and I didn’t want you to be broken. It is better if we just part our ways. I wish I could tell you this sooner.
Love now and always,
Anandi”
Neel sat on the floor. He read the letter again and again until he could. But.
He smiled. He felt happy. He let her go. After all these years, he finally let her go.
He mumbled, “I’ll always love you Anandi. God knows I’ll.”
“My kanna, go to sleep” said Amma. Veer was lying on her lap.
“Amma, Anna is happy n-now. He let Nandi-di go. Anna happy so Veer happy”
Amma said “Kanna. Maybe, when he lost his love it hurt him. That's because of one fine reason.
Hope.
All these years, there was a small little part of him that wished she'd come back.
This hope always stirred up the underlying emotions.
Whereas, when he came to know about her death, he made peace with the fact that she is never coming back.
Hope is a good thing but when you’re hoping even when you’re hopeless, it becomes a problem. Now you sleep Kanna, it’s late”
Amma convinced herself that keeping a fake letter from Anandi in that box was necessary for his child and she continued to sing hymns to Veer.