Have you ever been kissed so good that it makes you forget every moment you have felt alone in this world? I remember that kiss, which started as a truth or dare game when I was 12 years old. I had moved to a new neighborhood, and everyone fucking hated me. My father was non-existent in a time that a teenage girl needed a positive male role model in her life. My mother and step father stayed in a drunken drugged up state, to the point that they didn't even realize that I had two boys in my room during this game.
It was a time where I didn't know who I was. I knew that I felt safe listening to Weezer, and would use any excuse to go to my neighbors house to drool over her older brother. He would listen to Wu Tang Clan, wear Jncos, and grow his hair long and shaggy. The family was hispanic, and his skin was much darker than the rest. He was so different from me, but to him, I was probably the overweight, annoying girl across the street that told bad jokes, and wore Bo Bo shoes.
But there he was sitting in my room, with his sister, and a ginger boy from a few houses down. I don't know how they all ended up at my house but I was happy to finally fit in and make a friend. I would have done anything to fit in, anything to get attention of any sort. I turned on my radio, and No Diggity by Blackstreet was the soundtrack to my first romantic encounter. Who's idea to play truth or dare, I'm not sure, but picking truth wasn't really a serious option. Before I knew it, my friend was daring her brother, out loud, to kiss me.
I could feel myself smiling like a stupid fucking moron. I was screaming at myself in my head, FUCKING QUIT DUMBASS! I looked at him, and he didn't seem too pleased with what he had to endure. Fuck, was I that bad? I suppose. He leaned in and not only kissed me, but french kissed me. I think I was surprisingly better at kissing than was expected, because after he pulled away, he was the one smiling like a fucking moron.
After my short lived romantic affair, my mother stumbles into the room with a tall boy of Budweiser saying, "what are you little fuck wads doing?" Jesus fucking christ mother. She loved to embarass the shit out of me. And like that, all my new found friends left. And like that, I was alone in my fucked up world again.
I bet he doesn't even know how much pain he saved me from that one hour, where he chose to treat me with dignity, and I knew what it felt to be liked for a change.
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