A Pit Full of Monsters

Source: Google

Life sometimes throw us into the wolves.
Without warning. Without precaution.

Survival then is up to how well-equipped we are.

Do you have a shield?
A spear?
Do you have a gun full of bullets?
Do you even have the skills?

Well, now, I see.
I only have my bare hands.

Source: Google

I do not have the shield of self-esteem.
Not a spear of self-worth to draw.
No bullets of pride to shoot with.

These wolves of my own reflection.
Ugly creatures of my mistakes, clawing at my feet.
Waiting for me to snap and drop.
To be one with them.

Yet, I have the skills and I am willing.

I have the courage to look them in the eyes.
I have the strength to tame the monsters down to little puppies. After all, they are mine.

Enough of wondering why I'm down here in this pit of darkness.
Of listening to my monsters growling and howling.
Of watching my wounds bleed after my fall.

Enough of curling into a ball and being scared.

These monsters are mine and I am their master.
Whether they grow big enough to eat me alive
or starve them down to little sizes.
It's all up to me.

So, today. I am brushing off the dirt from my clothes.
It was quite a fall but I'm still alive.
Old wounds cracked open.
New ones still fresh.

I could bleed and feed my wolves' appetite.
Or show them that I am them and they are me.
I decide whether I keep them or lose them.
I decide.

So then, there really is no one to fight with.

There is only a wall to scale, to get out of this place.

I am pulling myself up and climbing the rocks.

I see now that there is an opening right above.
And there you are, shining a light.

Source: istockphoto

That ray of light seeped through little cracks in my darkness.
All this while.

I was blind, I did not notice.
I got comfortable in the coldness of my wrongs.
I was stuck in the lullabies of my monsters breathing.

But not anymore.

Thank you for patiently holding the light.
Even when it exhausted all of you.
Thank you for tirelessly calling me out.
Even if it cost you your voice.

Thank you.

And even now, in my struggles.
I still see you.

You saw me through my worst.
You were always there.

With a love so great it gave me this strength.

Thank you for all that you are.

Thank you for keeping me alive.

I thank God for you with all my heart.

Source: Google

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