took my day off work today, I found it difficult working without a clear head. I've had a lot on my mind for days and I needed a way out. I work all day, twenty hours straight and I get only four hours of sleep. How depressing can this be? Pretty disturbing in fact, but when you have kids to feed, what have you got to do? My children, two boys, different fathers whom I both loved. Lost one to death and the other to a woman. Yes, I have been through a whole lot all my life, I'm too weak to be strong. Too sad to be happy, too down to be up. Today I wrote a resignation letter and I tore it in pieces when I begun to think of all the bills and the expenses I have to handle. My life as a single mother is as difficult as it looks but what I find more difficult is seeking happiness. Relationships, I tried but when do I ever get time to look after these kids, talk more of paying attention to a man, its really expensive. Today, I want to disappear, Today I want to drown in my own skin, today I want to see my kids gets home from school, today I want to take my dog for a walk, today I want to find a wave that fits, today I want to jump out of my window, today I want to swim in the warm pool behind my house, today I want to get drunk and sleep on the welcome doormat, today I want to be free, today I don't want to feel alone. Someone pick me up today, as I lay in my dreams, sleeping deep in my office, wishing this was more than a dream.
Yours Truly
That single mother.
♥