I've been a single mom for 11 years. Wait - nearly 12.
My advice: Do so much self love and care - empathise with yourself, bath, read, look yourself in the mirror each day and notice the good about you- often ending a relationship we only point out the bad. Love yourself loads.
When things get awful and stressed - and they will at times - go into self care mode - breathe deeply, do less things so you don't spin, go simple, just focusing on loving yourself and kids and let other things go... And LAUGH - in the worst spots watch clips of comedy each day so you view life with humour and goodness. Then you're more likely laugh at yourself rather than react and get angry/depressed.
Go outside - and get fresh air - breathe in goodness, and breathe out the staleness of a lack of love! Study relationships - emotional abuse, passive aggression, healthy love (John Gottman), communication (Hold me tight, sue johnson), and how to get into a healthy relationship (Conscious Dating).... So that you choose a person who adores you and you're aligned.
Focus daily on love, and games to play with your kids. Read parenting books, don't watch TV late - do to bed early and meditate. I still read/listen to parenting books so that I can improve my parenting (How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk is Fabulous!).
And - study! In my down time - rather than watch TV I studied to improve - so my kids saw me doing something. So the times they went to their dad I studied - and I HATE studying and exams. I was one of those kids taken into an isolated special needs class with 6 people in the room. THAT bad. But I pushed myself. I did a 3 year masters. I had to work harder than others to get B's when they were getting straight A's and doing less hours. It was online. I did many others- coaching, counselling and attachment therapy courses... Now I'm on a course on how to write a book.
Grow yourself so that you're improving and thriving... So when you meet someone you're not needy/desperate - but blossoming and radiant
