I am a smoker, I´m always going to be a smoker
You know what they say, once a smoker, always a smoker... and you know what? That is right, I have stopped smoking several times, sometimes for months at a time, but I always go back, I always smoke again.
That is because I like it. I have a pleasant time smoking, I enjoy the taste, I appreciate the sense of calmness it gives me and also, I love to feel like a Marlboro Cowboy.
But it goes deeper, this is not about my smoking habit or me trying to quit. It is about my addictions.
In fact, I am addict. It doesn´t matter to what, but I need to be addicted to something all the time.
I think you know people like me, you probably have in your life someone like me. Yeah, those people who become obsessed with something until they are either the best at it or find another obsession. Those guys who find something they like and they dedicate body and soul to that.
Whatever I do in life I become addicted to the point that it may be considered an unhealthy obsession.
I´ve had major obsessions in my life that took at least 40 hours of my week - without counting school or my job depending on my age - that span from playing Magic:The Gathering to playing American Footbal; from playing Tomb Raider video Games to going to the gym 3 hours a day; from drinking 4 bottles of Coca-Cola to going to the Cinema everyday; at one point I used to read on every free second I had, now I do Steemit 8 hours or more a day.
The point is, it doesn´t matter to what or when, whatever I am addicted at the time, takes all of my attention and I can´t focus on anything else.
Right now I am addicted to adrenaline, Steemit and eating.
I managed to stop smoking a bit more than three weeks ago but I needed to fill up that space and food came to save the day. I´ve gained 6 kilos (around 12 pounds) since I stopped smoking.
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I guess Gym time is calling me...
I will probably smoke again at some point, I´m just trying to be healthy for a while and to prove to myself that I still have control over my addictions and not the other way around. Actually, around 7 months ago I stopped smoking when I was in Honduras, I started to smoke again when I was in Belgium in late October. It comes by seasons.
The tiring life of being an addict
As I said, I am addicted to addictions. Whenever I find something appealing, amusing, that is new for me and I like it, odds are I will become addicted to it.
It makes me a selfish person because I don´t do anything else until I become an expert in the field but I don´t mind, I love being an addict.