hey cackle away. They want to destroy the world. But their inventions are often instant modes of extermination, rather than creations of absolute cruelty.
On "Saturday Night Live," we saw the International Mad Scientists Society's annual competition to find the most evil invention of all.
There was a shrink ray. There was the freeze ray. There was a lot of oohing and cackling. Then along came Roy, aka Dwayne Johnson, aka the Rock.
An unassuming sort, he's taken to heart the "evil" aspect of the competition. He's invented a child-molesting robot.
"It's powered by solar rechargeable fuel cells," he explains, "and costs pennies to manufacture. And it can, theoretically, molest twice as many children as a human molester in, quite frankly, half the time."
You might think that the other mad scientists would admire Roy's descent into utter depravity. But no. He's a little surprised that there doesn't seem universal admiration for his creativity.
Roy explains that Webster's Dictionary defines evil as "profoundly immoral." It's as if they've been letting the evil side down with their silly little freeze rays.
Benito Mussolini used to feed people castor oil until they literally died of diarrhea," says Roy. "That's got to be where the goalposts are, right?"
The mad scientists' mouths are open and frozen.