In life, we have to delay things. Inevitably, we will delay things!
Our lives can be very busy. You have a million things coming at you at the same time, all of which can't all be done...so you delay those smaller (or bigger) more insignificant things.
Then the guilt sets in and we beat ourselves up because we added yet another task to the delay list.
"All procrastination is delay but not all delay is procrastination." ~ Prof. Tim Pychyl
If you step back for a moment and ask yourself, "Can I really do this one thing?" and your answer is, "I really can't!", then that is not procrastination. That is having too much on your plate and not enough time to take care of it.
The word itself, somehow serves up a cringe worthy response - an emotional sigh with downward gaze with furrowed brow....
Yet, interestingly enough, if you break the word down into its Latin verb: PROCRASTINARE
You get:
PRO - Forward motion
CRASTINUS - Belonging to tomorrow
It almost sounds poetic, doesn't it?!
Forward motion belonging to tomorrow...destination unknown.
Why do people procrastinate?
- Perfectionism
- Feeling Inadequate
- Aversion to Discomfort
- Resentment
- Being Overextended
- Lifestyle Issues
- Fear of Success/Failure
- Negative Emotion
Procrastination should be an art-form in and of itself. After all, it takes some finesse and extra brain power to not only keep up with yesterday's procrastination(s) but also carry it over into tomorrow. That stuff adds up!
Is the cringe returning yet?
"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well." ~Mark Twain
[Wait...Did Mark Twain actually say that?!]
Yes, he did!
The point is, everyone is guilty of some procrastination. Some, more than others...perhaps...maybe....
OKAY YES! I'm guilty of procrastination! I'm owning it. Does it feel better coming to this realization? Umm, no.
So let's get down to the real zinger of procrastination. The flip side of the humorous. Let's get serious about what procrastination does to your life and well-being.
"Procrastination is the thief of time." ~ Edward Young
That's right. There is nothing worse than procrastinating your life away - or even worse, moments with a loved one.
I don't have many of these types of procrastinations, but I do have one really sad one.
A couple of years ago, I had re-united with my father's sister, Aunt Carol. My father died in 1987. So, you can imagine the span of years between. My mother had divorced my father when I was two, so I didn't have communication with his side of the family.
We shared a few phone calls between us, lasting no more than 5 or 10 minutes, as the content behind our words was filled with so much sadness and uncertainty for which we were both delaying speaking about.
The formalities of 'perfect timing'.
A day before my family and I were to leave for our week long beach vacation, I called my Aunt out of the blue. I can't really say why other than she popped into my head and I didn't procrastinate (however I held a great deal of anxiety about doing so) - I just did it and hoped it wouldn't be too awkward for either of us.
It turned out to be our longest, most honest, transparent and most emotional phone call of all.
We both lost the capacity to speak in the course of our conversation and were crying so hard that we vowed to talk more deeply our next phone call once we both absorbed this one.
This phone call and what we talked about permeated my heart for a week after we returned. I didn't want to call in the state I was in so I kept putting off that phone call day after day until two weeks had passed and then I received a phone call that my Aunt suddenly died.
So my fathers story died with my Aunt as well as an opportunity to connect with my Aunt on a deeper level. All because I procrastinated calling her.
This is not an uncommon scenario. The majority of grieving people after a loved one dies, have similar regrets.
Never procrastinate on those golden moments - those really important ones.
It's not worth being left with "I wish I had________"