Ever wanted to be more likeable? These principles will skyrocket your likeability.
At a Glance
Estimated Reading Time: 3-4 mins
Style: Relaxed and mildly poetic
Why read this? Because you don’t have to be liked by everyone to be likeable.
Key takeaways
• Likeability is mostly subjective however, the principles of likeability remain universal
• Focus on the underlying principles rather than specific behaviors
So What Makes you Likeable?
Everyone wants to be liked, that’s a given in life. The truth is likeability is mostly subjective and that not everyone will always like you. Just think about politicians and movie stars, irrespective of the majority there is always at least a handful that finds them unappealing.
Most articles tell us this and that about how to be likeable yet a lot of the time they are merely prescribing specific strategies/behaviors to mold ourselves into some idealistic notion of a likeable person.
Sure, being attentive and generous will make us likeable to most people however, there are times when ‘genuinely being interested in a cokehead’ simply does not tickle my fancy.
My point is that we can all be likeable in a myriad of ways instead of subscribing to behaviors that are unnatural to us (i.e. ‘fake it till you make it’).
I’d like to take a more realistic and practical approach to lead a life of likeability. Instead of prescribing idealistic qualities or behaviors that may or not fit into your personality, I’ll be focusing on the underlying principles or fundamental truths to which all of us can relate to when cultivating our individual likeability.
Principles of Likeability
Following these principles will greatly increase your likeability in the sense that you will naturally improve the quality of your life without being someone you're not. The key is to become a better version of yourself, rather than becoming a different version of someone else.
1. Do what you truly want in life
When you are relentlessly pursuing your passions you become infused with attractive energies. People love people who are full of passion and direction because it shows them what is dormant within the human spirit.
This involves persistently working towards goals that engages and challenges you, making you more valuable by the day.
2. Surround yourself with only people that you truly like and connect with:
When you fill your life with people that you click with, care about and respect, those people will naturally like you. Anyone else will detract your likeability and quality of life. I mean why bother wasting time with people who you don’t get along with or hate?
It’s a fallacy to have to befriend everyone you meet simply because we will spread ourselves too thin. Instead being friendly and respectful to the people you meet is a far more efficient and suitable strategy.
There is no place for seeking validation (i.e. kissing ass) or meaningless conversations when we are surrounded by quality people with mutual likeability.
3. Be your most genuine self
People who are always themselves are by definition their most likeable self. Sure, they might have flaws and annoying habits but don’t we all? We all know that trying to be someone we’re not will only serve to repel people in the long run, so why not just be most genuine selves to save some time.
If people can’t accept you as who you are then they probably aren’t worth having in your life anyway. This is not to say that if you are obnoxious and selfish you are going to be likeable, use some common sense.
4. Open your mind and heart
There is something extremely powerful about having an open mind and heart. The strength in vulnerability disarms all defenses and gives you a depth of humility and warmth that invites others to fall in love with your soul.
It’s the learning and growth that comes with an open mind and heart that inspires others to like us. Although it may be challenging to open yourself up to others, if you do your relationships will flourish on every conceivable level.
5. Go with the flow
The most likeable people are easy-going, relaxed and free from judgment. They never force the things that are not meant to be instead, they accept it and go along for the magnificent ride.
When we are going along with the flow of the world life is infinitely effortless. We create a Zen like state of acceptance of the people and events that transpire in our lives.
There is already enough stress in this world to fill the oceans ten times over so be one of the few oases’ people look for their entire lives.
6. Enjoy and appreciate life
What’s the point of life if you don’t enjoy and appreciate it?
When we are enjoying and appreciating the moments that make up our lives we fill ourselves with positive energy that is incredibly infectious. People love to be around people that are positive and fun because it makes them feel good as well.
Of course it is okay to have the low points in life they make it the more worthwhile, just don’t stay down there too long.
Embracing these principles will naturally bring about more likeable behaviors (i.e. smiling more, genuine interest in others, optimism, confidence etc.) so you never really need to focus on how to be likeable.
You don't need all these principles to be likeable, just find what works for you and create your own set of behaviors that you make you unique and likeable.
Enjoy being liked~