The notion that social media is evil has by now become fairly accepted in our modern society. It seems everyone you talk with has a complaint about it -- they can't stop scrolling their Instagram, they lose sleep looking at mindless TikToks, etc. And while those may waste our most valuable resource -- time -- they're far from the worst ones. So many people are suffering abuse through social media, some of it direct, but most of it, not.
What's indirect abuse?
An immense failing attributed to social media is that it holds up an unrealistic mirror to the individual's life. Both men and women are living in this incessant race to own better cars, finer clothes, more toned physiques, to party in more luxurious clubs, and holiday in more "scenic", Insta-worthy spots around the world. All, so that they can sync up, or at least, edge closer to their virtual screen ideals, of which there is no shortage, thanks to the constant stream of new influencers.
They hate it. These people, trapped in this race, are living with an insidious, passive sort of hate toward their own lives, because they don't quite measure up. That's not even mentioning the feelings of profound inadequacy that strike when you don't look like in them beauty reels.
Toxic? You bet.
But it's not social media that bears the blame. Far too often, we hear that social media is toxic, dangerous, even evil. In other words, we attribute to it all these adjectives that we'd typically reserve for human beings. Anthropomorphism at its worst, since it conveniently allows us to pin all the blame on a malignant third party we have no control over.
We seem to take it as a given that social media is:
i) evil;
ii) ruining our self-image, and our interactions;
iii) unstoppable -- although many of us admit to being addicted to it, few try to stop, and generally accept it as an evil they must live with;
When in truth, it's none of those things. Social media, on its own, is just a tool. Which is all it was ever designed to be. Much in the same way as the heavily touted artificial intelligence is, at its core, just a tool. And so, what we should be fearing is not the tool itself, but the danger within ourselves.
Social media can't be evil, because that's a character trait, and social media is not a character.
It seems evident. But then, is that denying the negative impact social media has had on us? Not in the slightest. While social media isn't ruining our self-image, sense of worth, and social interactions, we are.
Social media just amplifies the negative aspects of your life.
Often, we talk about women suffering from anxiety and depression because of the "unrealistic beauty standards" set by social media platforms. Men do, too, though to a somewhat lesser extent. And while that may be the case, they would've suffered from these things, anyway. Why? Because they weren't happy with their appearance, anyway.
It's not like a self-confident woman, truly comfortable in her own skin, joins Instagram, sees some beautiful influencer's tauter belly, and clearer complexion, and becomes depressed. Because that's what it means to be comfortable in your own body. It's acknowledging you could have bigger breasts, a more sculpted physique, nicer skin and hair and whatever, and not caring for any of that.
If self-acceptance implies burying your head in the sand, so as not to see people with "nicer" bodies than yours, then you're just deluding yourself.
The same is true for lifestyle, in general.
A lot of people will go on holiday, and try to replicate influencer poses, and shots, all the while ending up miserable. Because whatever they do, they won't look quite like the original, in terms of glamor, editing skills, or content. And while many go on in this race, striving for ever nicer pics to mimic those of a much envied stranger, few do the necessary 180 for true happiness.
The reason you're not happy isn't that you're not getting as many likes as whoever. It's that you're not happy with your life.
It seems fairly evident, doesn't it? If you keep trying, in your online content, to replicate someone else's life, then clearly, you're not quite happy with your own. If you were, you wouldn't try to pretend it's different. When you love your life, you wouldn't trade it for the world.
You're screwing up your own interactions.
Finally, we've got social interactions, which rhyme with what I just said. Often, we talk about how everyone's always with their head buried in their phones, even when out with a friend, on a date, or in the park with their kids. Once again, that belies a deeper dissatisfaction with your life. It's deluded and simplistic to claim that if we didn't have social media to poison our interactions, we'd have happy, laughter-filled, engaged conversations all the time.
Most of the time, the reason you're buried in your phone during a conversation is it's a boring conversation, or one you don't really wanna be engaging in, because there's somewhere else you'd rather be (or someone else you'd rather be with). So it's not Instagram that's ruining our real life, but rather us, settling for subpar engagement.
Of course, the trouble with that is, it keeps you placid, and pacified. It makes an unengaging,unhappy, subpar day more bearable. Except you're not put on this earth to "bear through", but to enjoy, to create, to build, and to enhance, adding your own unique, valuable contribution to this world.
Social media can be a great tool. If we...
... remember to use it as such.
Social media can expose you to new people you resonate with, who you might've never met, without it.
It can expose you to new lifestyles, and concepts, also, that you find are what you've been searching for.
When you know what you want your life to be like, it can help you find a community that shares in your values. It can give you strength by showing you other people who've found happiness doing what you're doing.
...build a self we're at home with.
Obviously, that's easier said than done, but if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through places you'd rather be, and people you'd rather be, maybe it's time you did something to change where you are right now. Seek gratitude for the body that carries you through this world. And for the people who enjoy and seek out your company. Pursue higher interests, new interests, that maybe won't fit into a quick Insta-snap or a 30-second TikTok.
If you're unhappy, you shouldn't try to mimic people who seem happy. You should make better choices for yourself, change your f-ing life.
...learn to value our time, and our energy.
What I don't understand is, why look at content that's making you miserable? Your social media feed isn't carved in rock. Just change that motherfucker. Unfollow the woman with a nicer ass, 'cause life's too short for that stuff, anyway.
As so often is the case in life, the problem arises from undervaluing our own time and energy, and giving it to things/people that aren't worthy of it. So find pages whose content brings value to your life. Because while some people are extremely successful in erasing social media from their lives entirely (and kudos to them, really), many of us just cut it out for a couple of weeks, then return to our feeds almost with a vengeance.
In other words, you're gonna scroll those twenty minutes, anyway. Wouldn't you rather make them 20 minutes you enjoy?
Does Hive count as social media? I don't know, but I'd argue so. Precisely the sort of place that lets you interact with people closer to your values, ideas, tribe. Maybe I'm biased, I'm not much of a social media user, and I don't follow many people. It's why I can't name a single influencer, so maybe I'd think different if I did. Nevertheless, what do you think?