joeyarnoldvn- Are you familiar with peaceful parenting (sometimes also referred to as positive parenting or gentle parenting)? If not, I highly recommend that you look into it as it addresses the questions you’ve raised here.

It’s a more constructive method of parenting, whereby the parent learns to be more conscientious in their own modeling behavior when responding to their child; identifying and addressing the underlying needs of children that may be driving their behavior; guiding children with proper coping skills and problem solving skills (while still setting healthy limits), and how they can be applied in future situations; and most importantly, creating a foundation of trust, connection, mutual respect, and empathy with your child.

Rebecca Eanes has written some excellent books on this topic (‘The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting: Second Edition’ would be a good place to start), as has Dr. Laura Markham (‘Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting’) who has a wonderful website filled with useful information & tips: www.ahaparenting.com. I hope you’ll check it out. :)