I have experienced my time in the crosshairs of sociopaths. They are often smart, sometimes very smart. They lie more times than not because they work very hard to manipulate those in their world. You can find yourself twisted in knots trying to sort truth from the lies. Questioning your own knowledge, beliefs, and experiences is what will happen in the wake of a manipulative episode.
If you try to be reasonable and negotiate, sociopaths can see this as weakness and that they are winning their game with you. Their arguments can seem reasonable on the surface. Your own words may be craftily used against you, leaving you questioning your own position.
Sociopaths can be everyday people who you just find difficult to deal with and can't quite figure out why. Or they can be dangerous people both in and out of public office. They have little feelings for others, but can act enough to make that seem untrue at first. But over time, if you watch and pay attention to your own body's cues, it will become obvious no matter how much you'd rather not believe the truth.
Standing up to a sociopath must be done. You cannot live happily and with health in such stressful situations as these people create around them. Stress eats away both mental and physical well being. Listen to yourself and your body.
I once told someone that I didn't like who I had become when with them. I had been so stressed, that I had driven not once, but twice out of a gas station with the nozzle still in the gas tank. My stomach would start to get upset when I was leaving work and going 'home'. I found that when he was gone, I would wish he would never come home. I was at peace while he was absent. And I never knew when his mood would shift or what would shift it, so I was never at ease around him...nor was I safe.
He was abusive, but alternatively wonderful. The police did virtually nothing. We waited weeks for them to come and talk to him when they said they would. When he finally got anxious to get it over with, he asked me to contact them and get a date. They had not communicated that they had no intention of confronting his behavior. I told them they were missing an ideal opportunity since he was asking to get it done. They declined, leaving me on my own to deal with a man twice my size.
And later, when I had bruises, I showed up at their station after making an appointment to be photographed. When I showed up, they said they had no one available and no camera. Really?? I told them I would stay there until they did. Then a miracle happened. They found someone and they found a camera. But, in the end, they did nothing to intervene.
There are many other stories to this situation, but I knew I had to leave. That process was dangerous. Afterwards, he tried for a long time to lure me back, even after he had a new girlfriend in the home. And once we passed each other on the road. He turned around and tried to run me off the road. It was very curved.
He was always smart enough not to leave much evidence so it would always be my word against his. And he constantly lied and manipulated. His size was even a deterring force when a small cop showed up one time. But I knew the situation was untenable in the end. I would look out on the beautiful land he owned and find myself wondering if I would end up being buried there. I was not safe, and the more I challenged the situation, the less safe I was. I had to go.
I have been gone for many years. He has moved with his now wife to another state. Yes, I still keep tabs on him once in awhile so I am not in his path. I stayed out of the town we lived in for years. I went back only after I knew he had moved. I wanted nothing to do with his games, and the disinterest of the police in that town.
This week I find myself challenged by not one, but two possible sociopaths. Both of these are women and both working to manipulate me and others in my world. The only thing I can do is to stop the game from my end as best I can. If they successfully manipulate the powers that be, they will win their game. I can only stand strong and try and show people what game is being played.
This type of personality needs to be shown your stop sign as soon as possible. They have to know you won't play the game as quickly as you recognize it. But, be careful. By keeping everyone around them off balance through their lies and deception, they are left alone to continue the game. Chaos ensues. This must stop if rational minds are to prevail.