This second follow-up post is being written the day after my birthday. I felt so much love from all my beautiful and inspiring friends and it was such a momentous occasion for me to celebrate my 26th year of birth back in Denton after being away since I was 22. However, I moved back home six weeks ago and it has been a HUGE battle for me to fight to stay put. Just a week ago I applied to a university in Mexico City and spent two hours on the phone with Oxford Seminars about placing me in an elementary school in Indonesia. When life gets hard or monotonous or even a little bit predictable, I ghost out in a major way. I could blame it on being raised as an Army brat or even my “free spirited nature” but the truth is that I was born with an insatiable desire to soak up as many experiences as possible. I knew from such a young age that life has so much more meaning than work. wine. sleep. work. wine. sleep. As a solo female traveler, I know my adventures aren’t even close to being over. It just became a necessity for my soul and spirit to grow some roots back home for a while. Now, let’s delve in shall we?
TAKE ADVICE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT
This topic is a HUUUUUUUUGE one for me personally. Every single time I pack up my bags to move to a country or decide that I’m going to take a few weeks to explore a new region on my own, some people got a lot of shit to say. Right before I first moved to Bangkok, a doctor my mother worked with decided to scare her shitless with horror stories of motorbike gangs slashing the purses right off a woman’s body. Let me preface this by saying this is true, and it has happened specifically to two fellow female travelers I personally know. BUT, and this is a huge BUT, I’ve also dropped my wallet full of cash at a busy outdoor market in the heart of Bangkok and a young man chased me down the alleys to return it to me, unscathed, with not one single Baht missing. To sum it up, every nook and cranny of this world is dangerous and safe. Every square mile of the universe has the potential to be unsafe. As women, and as solo travelers, it’s our duty to do our research and watch our own backs. There’s something to be said about walking that fine line of caution and adventure. On that same side of the coin, when I shared with my family and friends about my opportunity to move to Saudi Arabia, NOBODY was excited. Not one person. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. “But Jenn, you smoke pot and you drink and you’re crazy and too independent and you won’t be able to survive all the oppression, and blah blah blah.” It really just fueled my fire to go anyway. The hardest part of adjusting to Saudi Arabia for me wasn’t the lack of alcohol or marijuana or even having to cover my hair and face in public. Funny enough, the thing that was hardest for me to adjust was not being allowed to drive or sit in the passenger seat of a car. No big deal. People like to think that they’re experts on one thing or another. Take advice with a grain of salt. Know the cautionary tales are coming from a place of concern. But figure it out for yourself. Go see. Go explore. Make up your own mind.
TELL SOMEONE YOUR TRAVEL PLANS
This is a tough one for me. When I’m traveling, the last thing on my mind is maintaining communication with anyone back home. I have a mom and a dad who raised a daughter that likes to push the boundaries, and bless their hearts for attempting to be so mellow and supportive of my plans. When I was teaching at Princess Nora University in Riyadh, I had about 9 days off for Spring Break. All my colleagues already made plans. Two days before the commencement of my trip, I decided to book a flight to Istanbul. I mentioned briefly to my parents that I was going to be traveling in Turkey but I didn’t give them any specific agenda of where I would be staying and what I would be doing. Bad idea. I did little to no research. I had no money. For some reason my Saudi Bank card wouldn’t let me extract any money at any ATM anywhere. Not in Saudi, not in Turkey. I didn’t even have cash to buy a bottle of water. I was screwed and freaking out. No one could help me out or send money anywhere because I had no plans or hostel locations mapped out. After bumming a few Turkish Lira from some sweet guys to get something to eat and drink, I was able to contact my bank and get the issue fixed with my card and all was well in the world again, but those first few hours were intense. Another story was the 6 weeks that I traveled all throughout Thailand with no cell phone or service to speak of. I told my parents I would be off the grid and I did tell them a rough itinerary of what days/locations my elephant trek was and what time frame I would be staying at the Buddhist Monastery. I gave them about a month of a heads up to mellow out and be okay with my plans. I needed to do it for me. I needed to go off the grid and I needed to not worry about maintaining communication with anyone back home. It was the BEST thing for my spirit that I’ve ever done before or since. All my parents knew were when I would be landing back at the DFW Airport and that my mom and dog would be there ready and waiting. I don’t regret being phoneless or internetless for those 6 weeks but at least my family had a rough idea of where I would be located if something horrible were to have happened. Live free and uninhibited, but let your loved ones in on your plans just a liiiiiiiitle bit, in case someone has to pull a Liam Neeson and find your ass.
DRESS APPROPRIATELY
The most ignorant thing I have ever done when traveling was not having an abaya, a black loose-fitting garment required for women to wear in public in Saudi Arabia, when I landed at the Riyadh airport. I was told by my teaching company that they would pick me up from the airport at a certain time and provide one for me. This didn’t happen. I did have enough sense to wear black leggings and a long black cardigan but I had no abaya, no hijab, no nothing. The teaching company didn’t pick me up for six hours and I couldn’t have even left the airport if I wanted to because I wasn’t in accordance with Sharia law. The driver assigned to pick me up finally showed up. He had to sneak me into the van from the underground parking lot and I couldn’t even leave my hotel for water or food for a good 24 hours until one of my fellow female teachers heard the news and showed up at my door with a spare abaya, hijab, and niqab. Yes, the teaching company informed me that they would provide me with an abaya but I should have had enough sense to have bought one in the U.S just to be on the safe side. Now, in Thailand, something I saw SO much of which aggravated me to no end were foreigners trying to take tours of the temples in shorts and tank tops. NO NO NO NO NO! Cover your legs, cove your arms, show some respect. Most temples have used and ill-fitting robes to assign you if you’re not in accordance with the Buddhist dress code, but it’s best to stay informed and show some courtesy to a culture and religion as beautiful as that of Thailand.
USE A DUMMY WALLET
Dummy wallets are brilliant as fuck. One thing I do worry about when I’m traveling is getting robbed. I always kept a dummy wallet on me that contained some cancelled credit cards and just a liiiiiitle bit of cash. The scumbag trying to rob you will take off, thinking he’s got the goods when the REAL goods are hidden separately in a more discreet location.
LEAVE YOUR EGO BACK IN THE STATES
I have come across some people who just downright should NOT be allowed to have a passport. I truly believe this. I have seen some abrasive tourists, yelling at locals in English or their native tongue, expecting the locals to just understand what they’re saying. NEWSFLASH people: not everyone speaks English. It sounds so silly that this even needs to be typed out but it’s true. You’re the one who put yourself in their home, in their country, in their place of business. Be respectful, attempt to learn the language, be humble and courteous and I promise some beautiful doors will open up for you. A local loves to see a person try to connect with them on their level. It’s a human to human connection, get it? Also, eat the damn food if it’s being offered to you! Almost every country I have ever been to sees accepting food as a sign of respect. When I was in Thailand, I was dating a fellow Thai teacher and he took me to his family home to meet his whole extended family. I helped his grandmother make Som-Tom and she loved watching me eat the spicy shit as my eyes and nose started running. She was so impressed that a white girl like me was sitting on the floor with them and partaking in their family meal. It was a beautiful experience that I will never take for granted and seeing the family laugh and giggle and smile as I pretended my mouth wasn’t on fire was just the coolest thing.
Traveling solo as a female has led me to learn so much about this spirit that lives in this vessel of meat. It has taught me to create my own self-truths and not to believe others. It has taught me that we’re all citizens of the world. We’re all just trying to do the best we can with what we’ve got and what we know.