Source: Pixabay
It is three o'clock in the middle of the night and I am on my bed, forcing myself to sleep. I have been counting sheeps since midnight and I am still wide awake. The lights are already shut, the windows are already covered, and the AC is on its coldest feature. It was total darkness, and yet I am still awake.
This is bad. I know that darkness and I are not in good terms. "Hello darkness, my old friend." It's going to happen soon. And the last time we talked, it was throwing acidic words at me. Never again, please! Never again. I bet it's stronger now. After two months of peaceful nights, I know it will come.
3:20 AM. Sleep 
I swallow real hard but my throat is super dry. I am worried and scared and restless, at the same time. Then I hear it, at the upper right corner of my room. But it's not there. I grab the blanket and cover myself. "Lord, Jesus Christ, save my sanity." The whispering sound once again from my back. I turn my back immediately. Nothing in there. Now, I am restless. It was only just the beginning.
I try to sleep and ignore the #soundinthedarkness. I close my eyes as hard as I can. But the whispers are still there. This time, it was right on my right ear. Shit! I stand up immediately, gasping for air to breathe. Tears were already falling down my eyes. I immediately look for my glasses. It was there, on my bed, floating. A big pile of black smoke. Hissing and whispering. It changes into a black homonid-like reptile. I freeze with my eyes wide open. "Hello darkness, my old friend." My head hurts. Everything is spinning.
After two months, we meet again. It is my alter ego. My id. My inner self. The most explicit and the rawest version of me. I tried to stop it, but it's just too strong. "Stop existing", I try to shout at it; but no voice came out from my mouth. The reptile gives a demonic smile and changes into smoke once again. It roams around my room, knocking my things off to the floor. I was trembling. I shake my hands, trying to let my toxic blood flow.
I prayed. I know that is what most people would say. I closed my eyes. I spoke to God. I know God can cast this negative energy away. I was trying so hard. I closed my eyes so hard; however, I did not feel any comfort or any sympathy from anyone - not from myself, not from God. As I closed my eyes, all I saw was total darkness, unlike before when there were so many kinds of lights. Super dark.The time has come! And even me communicating with God gives me nothing. It is indeed super strong.
Suddenly, I feel a tremendous headache. Mama, help! I am trembling on my bed. Goosebumps, cold sweats, raised heartbeat, and restlessness are dominating myself right now. It was on my head. The sound transferred inside my mind. It is an excruciating pain. It is whispering more acidic stuff than before in my head. I cannot take it anymore. Am I cursed? The sounds are super hurtful. It is bringing back sad and painful moments of my life. It is cursing me in all languages I know. It is letting me remember all my insecurities. It is threatening my life. It is killing me.
It’s winning over me. This is not good. If I cannot win against him tonight, negative thoughts he would put in my mind would grow uncontrollably in the future. And that would cause me to feel so restless.
I open my eyes. My hands are already in my head. I am screaming and crying internally. I am fighting my own battle in my head. My body is arching backward and my mouth amd eyes are widely open.
Abandon me again and you are dead meat, human!
I freed myself. I am on my bed, barely breathing. I am gasping. I can hear my own heartbeat. It was gone. And my parents were already at my door bedroom. They asked why I am still awake.
I do not know what to say. I look around and my things were not in disarray. The sounds are gone. And the lights on my room were already switched on by mother. It is flickering, as usual. My father said I was kneeling on my bed. They wer happy and thought I fell asleep praying.
Dear God.