Aside from my own survival, I am an Empath - or someone who in almost all situations, puts others before themselves. Over the course of my life, this has lead to many rewarding experiences that have changed my life and the lives of others for the better. More often though, others benefit at my expense and there is a negligent part of myself that allows this to continue - a kind of addiction. The addiction to the feeling of being altruistic.
What is it about altruism that is so compelling? Now in my late thirties, I often wonder why I behave this way. I was raised Christian and therefore the theme growing up was always about self-sacrifice for the higher good. I was taught that this life ultimately did not matter and it was merely the opportunity to accept Christ or not. But the older I got, the more I realized that this taken out of context and there was much more to consider and much more to life. Yet, this all happened at a time when I could be easily influenced, so it has remained ingrained in my psyche and I am only now breaking those chains decades later. Indoctrination is a very powerful force and its effects can last a lifetime.
Now I feel that I have gone so far out of balance that I cannot help anyone anymore - for I am now the one in need of help - my spiritual energy is depleted. This is mostly from trying to raise other peoples' vibrations who are not ready to be lifted - indeed a tough lesson for me or any other empath, but one that did not come easily to me. Ironically, this is a time when people seem to need the kind of light I used to be able to provide more than ever. Yet, I must recluse because my candle is not out yet, but it is dim and a strong enough wind just might extinguish it. It is very important for all empaths to seek balance in their lives, for it is all too easy to allow our addictive nature as humans to infiltrate our ability and desire to heal others. Be careful my fellow empaths and don't forget to heal yourselves along the way.