From Disappointment to Discipline...Betrayal as a Gift.
(Re-Emergence-Pastel/Sketch)
Retelling our stories..
Reweaving our memories...
Resurrecting our trauma
into tales of victory over ourselves and circumstance
So may we dance with Spirit inspired
Accepting the lessons and blessings of living in love authentically on fire, yet never burned
And per chance, in vulnerability we share our place in the shadow and the light, finding strength and giving permission
For all to grow into the fullness of their mission
"In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?" ~ Gabrielle Roth
Ego or We go...
When egoic agendas eclipse intuition, we lose sight of our reason for living. We shift our alignment to the source and allegiance to the personal and lose connection temporarily to the Universe.
Sometimes we may fall short of our own expectations and compromise our integrity to live in a world filled with contradiction, thinking our visions or optimism is a fiction we tell ourselves in order to receive a temporary reward...a rise or fall in status in community, a false sense of superiority or inferiority will be put to the test. We become blinded to the signs and omens, the spirit calling and the body's knowing, and soul contracts between us and yet we can use our ego to teach us to embrace the growing pains and only the love will remain.
My faith in the perfection of the universe was one pillar I never thought could be broken, especially after the mysteries and magic I have witnessed as a soul becoming whole, yet after the deepest betrayals leading to disappointment after disappointment, I realized it was myself that I felt more betrayed by... for not asking enough questions, for not tuning in to the shifts, for underestimating my dreams and clinging to the highest vision despite the wounded nature of the warriors that surrounded me, my nature has been to give latitude to individuals to change for the better, yet within this current dimensional flux, I've seen the most shadowy aspects emerge from a soul fragmented. Attacking and distracting me from my path. I was shown the dysfunctions and trauma that surrounded me, predator pervaded communities that claim to be about progress. Yet it was my test.
It was the trials by fire that purified my understanding, dispelled the illusions, and gave me discernment of good intentions vs right action. It stretched me beyond my comfort zones to grow into my soul, on purpose and in compassion. The grace I was granted was never lost, only my lack of understanding as to how to apply it.
I was shown the truth, and didnt accept it as final..i resisted the works in progress and finally...
I had to let go of the illusions
and accept what I could not change...
To reveal the lessons of letting go...
Unattachment to expectation
Yet committed to a purpose...
I saw my weaknesses and cracks reflected and I refused to give in..but only when the vessels become to small and weak to withstand the pressures of time and contain the immensity of destiny..did the cracks allow the light in.
My alignment in Conciousness would not allow me to abuse my gift, I realize the true Spiritual Warrioress and Warrior is a witness in remembrance of the grace and mercy of Creator. The wise grow weary of pride and vanity on the elitist path of spirituality. Without witnessing that travesty I couldn't have arrived in to this moment any other way...and each one will eventually find their way despite how much we may stand in our own way, in disbelief of the reality and reasons for being perceived as estranged from your land, or a stranger in your own home, alone amongst ones I once called my friends and spiritual allies.
Many have told me I'm ahead of my time and were not ready for me to fly...and I was missing the point of why I needed to see or participate in the fullness of the experience of their respective realities.
I realize that as we shift into higher Conciousness, the rules change everyday and not everyone keeps pace or is even in the same race. Therefore we must adapt and change with the terrain...if we make commitments to a person, vision, mission out of an egoic agenda, no matter how well intended we separate ourselves from our spirit...yet to know we planned our
lessons before our birth, we agreed to assist one another in transmuting and transforming our Karma into Dharma and in so realizing, there is nothing to forgive. I am still here. The I within I still lives.
Nothing that is infinite can be hurt or destroyed. Its only one lesson returning in different forms, So as we accept our lessons we add to the whole, healing the fragmented parts of our soul taking on human forms.
Every betrayal begins with trust and Each enemy can become a friend again. Learn to discipline the disappointment and release the relationship to expectation.