...where would you start?
I am not exaggerating when I say that I think about this every day. I have only one life, only one attempt at making the most out of my time here. No matter how nihilistic I sometimes get, the truth is, I want to leave the world as a better place than when I found it. I do not know the answer to the question of my life, but I have arrived to some conclusions:
- I can change the world only through changing myself. I do not have the power to force change in another person's behavior. How do I change my own behavior? Not by letting myself to be manipulated by somebody else and I should assume it's the same for everyone.
- Most people do not want to get rid of their problems. Contrary to what they would tell you, most people are comfortable just where they are. Most people choose not to make the change which is inside the realm of their possibilities.
- Old problems are like old friends. When we lose them, our life feels empty and we hurry to fill that space with new ones.
- Before learning how to live with other people, I have to learn to live with myself. How can I expect other people to tolerate, or perhaps even seek my presence, if I am not able to be alone in silence?
- The world strives for balance. There can be no giving without receiving, no speaking without listening.
Now, let's imagine a hypothetical situation. Imagine that in some blissful point in my future, I will have solved all my problems, I will become the perfect human being, whatever that means, I will purify my karma, get enlightened, gain unlimited resources and I will have the freedom to do anything. Would I end the poverty and starvation of African children? Would I get rid of the government corruption? Would I really trust myself not to cause more harm than good with my decisions?
"Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world."
Whether we choose it or not, we influence everything and everyone we meet in this world. I don't like the concept of karma, because I have a fundamental problem with the idea of reincarnation, but it is the best tool I have found so far for explaining the impact our mere existence causes.
For some time, I thought the answer is to become a perfect observer. It should be best to avoid all conflicts, to get out of the way, to withhold judgement, to decide against taking action, because the tiniest involvement would perpetuate the karmic burden. I was pursuing the contemplative meditation as the highest form of activity, believing that was enough, that it was the best I could possibly "do."
Yet, that is only the first half. I have to move onto the second one, which is far more difficult that withdrawing myself from conflicts. I have to maintain the contemplative state, while also participating in living on this planet. I have to be constantly aware whether I am able to see with unhindered eyes or if my ego is deciding the course of my actions.
That leads me to constant questioning: what would I do if nothing stood in my way? It hurts me to see homeless, drug-addicted people. It hurts me to see the vast differences in wealth. It hurts me to see the corruption, the indifference, the willful blindness. But if I decide to do something about it, is it my ego speaking? Perhaps it's my ego telling me I should remain passive. Being passive is safe, it can fool us into thinking we will not cause karma that way.
Let me quote one of my favorite books here, the Bible:
"Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me." -Matt 25: 41 - 43
Even while seeing the dirty, starving children in the streets of India, Bangladesh or Philippines, I knew that just feeding them is not the answer. Just providing better education or healthcare is not the answer. Just improving the quality of life of everyone on this planet would not be the answer. Remember, people work hard to replace their lost problems.
I want to change the consciousness itself of everyone on this planet.
How do I find the fulcrum where I should place my lever?
Are my conclusions misguided? What should we humans strive for? Is it possible to find the answer during our lifetime, or are we destined to keep searching? If reading this made you think of anythig, be it an idea or another question, I will be grateful if you write it in the comments.
#Mom'sSpaghetti