Firstly I found out about MROP randomly when I went couch surfing in Scotland with an ex-girlfriend. She was American and batshit crazy in a beautiful way. We stayed with these strangers and Anna had the woman of the house in tears of joy and sadness for hours as she coached her through some kind of healing based on family constellations.
(A brief note on family constellations: I don't know too much about that, other than once Anna held me like a mother does a child and told me I lost a pre-birth twin in my mother's womb, and I cried like a baby despite not believing a word of it. I think it may be to do with just finding an avenue for trapped emotion without having the barriers of our relationships with, in this case my mother, get in the way. I think I was letting go of some abandonment issues with my mother, but my ego stepped in the way to protect me if I thought about that directly.)
As we heard the women make various strange sounds in the other room I had this rather inoffensiveness but somehow feeble man explain to me about MROP and how it has helped him. I looked at the site right then and must have put my email in for the newsletter. Earlier this year I got an email asking for applications and I decided straight away I wanted to go.
I want to go because I am missing something in my life. I see it in others and I feel a lacking. I feel a lacking of power, of divine masculine energy. The energy of doing, and being physical, and holding a room, and having a voice you are proud to share with anyone. I know I am masked, I know I am not authentically the way I want to be, the way I feel. I have gone a long way in recent years, but I still get nervous, I still hide. I want to stop hiding and I want someone to show me how. I want to feel the power of a hakka bursting from inside me, deep down like a fucking roar.
So maybe the MROP will help me. Maybe it will go some of the way to make up for what we as a society are lacking. The lack of fathers who are away working, or busy being assholes, the lack of traditional rites of passage, the lack of initiations into manhood, the lack of families living like tribes, living for each other every day.
Fuck knows, if I knew what I was missing it would be easier to find huh?
Check this out and tell me you don't feeeeeeeel something: