The Fear To Create
"Create freely; absorb joyously; divide intently; consolidate completely."
Aleister Crowley, The Book of Thoth
For as long as I can remember, I have had a great amount of difficulty communicating my experiences. I was shocked when I became aware of my connection to the collective, because my struggles when communication only worsened. Something was hindering my ability to translate my unique experience as a human in a totally truthful and authentic fashion. I knew that there was divinity within me, but how could I speak it?
In 2017, I dedicated myself to Absolute Truth, but I had no idea exactly what truth meant to me at that time. I began to define truth as what is consistently accurate across ALL situations and transcends individual experience. In my day-to-day life, this left me without much to say. When I tried to verbalize my perceptions, there was always this voice in the back of my mind that penetrated all of my thoughts and conversations saying that "What you are expressing is not adequate and therefore not valid". No matter how I tried, what I said was only an echo of Absolute Truth. I depreciated my ability to connect with others and had no confidence to express the power of my personal experience.
The Nature of Divine Communication Discussed Using Archetypes
Mercury, Thoth, & The Magus
This is my archetypal journey of how I've learned to embrace this distinct vessel & use it as a channel for the divine to flow through my mind so it may descend into matter. I use these entities as a source of POWER when I am feeling too small to create a ripple with my words.
MERCURY
In Astrology, Mercury represents the intellectual mind and rules over communication. This Mercurial realm of our minds is where we receive information for us to understand it from our perspective and how we share our perceptions with the world. If we are able to successfully navigate the realm of Mercury, we are able to have clear and unbiased perceptions of our physical reality and also share those perceptions with others to find how are pieces fit together to form a Higher Truth. There is always bias in human perception so we MUST compare notes to straighten out any distortions. In order to do this, we must be able to accept perceptual ambiguity and have the capacity to tolerate a paradox long until information has been acquired. More so, we must be willing to absorb what anyone has to say despite how threatening it can be to our reality, because everything weaves together to for the whole TRUTH.
THOTH
Even when I say the name "Thoth", there is certain heaviness of substance to it. This entity has been such an significant part of my journey. He is the Voice of Ra & God of the Moon, scribes, magic, secrets, measurement, knowledge & wisdom. There are many other activities he rules over, but for the sake of keeping this concise, I'll only be discussing knowledge, wisdom, and writing.
It is important to clarify the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Knowledge is information obtained from outside sources. Wisdom cannot be learned through reading a book or taking classes. It is Self-knowledge (with a cap). Wisdom implies having an understanding that is greater than our individual perspective (EGO). When the two are practice and combined, we are aligning what we have observed (knowledge) with what we have found within ourselves (wisdom). I see it as two different receiving channels that we do our best to combine into OUR VOICE. One channel is receiving energy (information) from our material environment and the other is our Source/Higher Self/Collective Channel. It's almost like we have a conversation within ourselves before we project our audible voice into the world :)
Now, this is where the magic comes in. Each of us has a channel with limited, hyper focused perspective (3D self). Each of those channels are unique, so there's bound to some disharmonic clashes and that is OKAY. Referring to my photo earlier about truth, there can be two things that are true that contradict one another, but without accepting another's observation, we miss BIG PICTURE. By sharing our ideas (no matter how wrong they might be), when they are met with acceptance instead of ridicule, we create something that helps to rediscover our Truth
THE MAGUS
The Magus of the Thoth Deck speaks to me frequently when I begin to worry about what I am putting out in the world. He's quick to act, crafty, cunning, a business transaction, and from time to time he represents a thief. More than that, He represents Wisdom, the Will, and the Word. What a powerful archetype to reflect on when I begin to succumb to the pressure to deny my Will to speak and create. Just when I thought communication was damned, I realized that The Magus is technically the 1st card (following the Fool, which is 0). When well dignified, the Higher Self is in alignment with individual will during an energy exchange. Although, difficult to obtain, this is an ideal that I can aim to achieve.
However, you might notice the ape in the lower right corner…
Cynolcephalus
The ape is the symbol that represents the struggle I spoke of at the beginning of this post. He represents the curse placed on Thoth, Mercury, and honestly, everyone else too. The ape is sent to mock and distort the work of Thoth & Mercury. In my opinion, to remind them to not take everything seriously. There is a hard truth in this which I think this quote from Lon Milo Duquette summarizes well..
"Falsehood and misunderstanding are inherent in all speech and writing"
Questions for Readers
(and thank you to those who have made it this far!!!!).
How do YOU overcome the fear to create content?
Are there any deities/symbols that you draw strength from when you're working on project?
Is there anything that I wrote that resonated with you or that you didn't vibe with at all?
Love & Light to All
💜 🔥💜
~Lynx