For the record,
I’m not one of those people who “lose energy from giving.”
You know the type. They often complain on social media for “giving so much” and “receiving so little.” They whine about whittling down and wish that karma came back around for them. Many times, they’re the spiritual or religious type. They can also be people who simply give too much in a relationship. In any case, I think if you’re feeling drained, you’re doing something wrong.
Now… don’t get me wrong, there is always some sort of energy expense with giving, but historically it has always been very minor and/or negligible for me. I’m left feeling energized to give even more. I’m left with waves upon waves of organic gratitude. The joy is truly in the giving.
If this sense of unexhausted joy sounds foreign to you, I have three theories as to why you’re feeling drained:
1. You Have an Expectation
Though everyone is different, most likely you have an expectation to get something in return. Maybe you expect the recipient to reciprocate. Maybe you expect karma (or God, or the Universe) to reward you in kind. Well, whether it happens or not, simply having the expectation will wear you down.
Even worse, maybe you have an expectation, but you sweep it under the rug because you’re trying to act like you give without expectation, because you’re “spiritual/righteous.” “Acting” spiritual will win the applause of fools, but know that it will show in your energy. It will show underneath the words, smiles, and uplifting memes to those who can truly see. It will show in your body and energy levels. Don’t hide it. If you have an expectation, recognize it for what it is and try to do away with it.
So please, learn to give without expectation. Or at least, less. It will be a process. It will take time (maybe even lifetimes, if you believe in that sort of thing) but any expectations you shed will reap noticeable increases in energy and well-being.
2. You Don’t Properly Care for Yourself
Another reason why you may be losing energy from giving is that you simply don’t care enough for yourself (as in, not taking care of your own needs). To me, this should be obvious. And since there are already a million articles (slight exaggeration) on that subject… and since I assume you’ve probably already read half of them, I will therefore NOT to go into this.
2.5 … Actually, I LIED!
I AM going to go into it because a p p a r e n t l y millions of articles (exaggeration) are not enough. So I’m going to say it, albeit rather briefly:
YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. Otherwise, an eminent breakdown is on the way. There’s just no way around it, so why suffer? You have a body with needs. Spend some time getting in touch with what they are and how you can fulfill them.
So, if you haven’t already… take a moment to find out what your needs are, in general, and in this moment specifically. How do you feel? Have you eaten? Need some rest? Some alone time? Do you have to use the restroom? Whatever it is, get your needs handled. Then you will have the energy to do what you love and help people, and more so than you could have ever have accomplished than when you were over exerting yourself.
3. You Have A Limiting Belief With Regards to Giving
Another one is that you actively uphold the belief that “giving” implies “expending energy.” True or not, to whatever degree, it does not serve. However much energy you think you’re exhausting is probably more of a nocebo than you care to realize.
In other words… if you’re giving time/money/energy, and you mentally (in your mind) court any sense of loss… you’re inadvertently contributing to exhaustion, via the smidgens of stress your body will release in response to your attitude. It may or may not be much, but it will add up, especially if you’re trying to be a giver.
Now, I’m going to contradict myself slightly here. When giving, you do want to logically be aware of what your expenses are. However, what you don’t want to do is to mentally masturbate to the sense of loss. You want to be in a place where you can think about what you’re doing rationally, without stressing over the expenses that come with giving. Doing this, you will come to find that your expenditures will be small compared to the abundance of what you have to give (energy/objects/time, etc).
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Will V. R. Hobbyist Writer, Software Engineer, Meditationisto, Astral Projectionist, Foodie, Homeowner, Poet, Vegan, Armchair Activist, Optimist
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