and all the places we'll go.
― John Green
Stella and I were sitting iin my front room trying to make sense of what had just happened―we both narrowly escaped being trapped in the past or even worse, annihilated from history.
Neither of us was certain of what might have been our eventual fate but we both knew it would have been catastrophic.
I was feeling particularly miserable because I had made the impulsive decision to return to Blythe in the 1920's by entering the portal I discovered in a disused wing of our house--I say 'our' house, because in contacting Blythe I felt she was still alive, although existing in a different time, but we were both co-owners so to speak of the dwelling.
But if Stella hadn't followed me through the portal and pulled me out I might have made the biggest mistake of my life--trying to live in another time with a woman who already had a history that didn't include me.
Of course, none of this made sense, because I couldn't be certain if Blythe's history was already scriped by Fate leaving me out, or if we could have written a new ending that included me.
Regardless, it was a rash move on my part and an enormous gamble considering the uncertainty of the outcome and the dire implications that act could have meant for me.
What was I thinking--that love conquers all? Even if that were generally true, I would have put Blythe in the unenviable position of having to commit to me because I had crossed the time barrier and couldn't return to my previous life.
If we discovered we weren't as compatible as I thought, our lives could have been horrible and I would have to bear most of the blame.
All thses thoughts were rushing through my mind as both lay exhausted on the couch, trying to recover from our harrowing experience and too tired to talk, let laone think.
The events of the day eventually took their toll and we both fell into a deep sleep and when we awoke the mantel clock showed it was 530 pm and a cold March rain was pelting the windows.
I glanced over at Stella who had also just awakened, and was amazed she looked even more beautiful than usual with her hair disshevlled and a pink glow on her cheeks.
She realized I was staring and began to run her fingers through her hair trying to straighten it.
"I must look a mess." she muttered, looking embarrassed, but I gently reached out and held her wrist.
"Don't touch your hair, Stell--you look perfect. You remind me of a mermaid preening on a rock by the sea, hair toussled by wind and waves but possessing a natural beauty."
"You wouldn't say that if you saw me without makeup," she laughed cynically.
"I doubt that, and to tell the truth, you look like a dream, the only difference being, I've never woken up with you before."
It was her turn to stare at me.
"Don't play me, Theo--I've spent two years pursuing you and even went back in time to find you--I'm at the end of that road."
"I'm not a player, Stell, I meant what I said. You've heard the expression, over the moon? Well, you didn't exactly do that, but you did something that came close--you crossed a century to rescue me."
"Look, Theo, you don't have to feel guilty--I don't want a pity party, I just did what I had to do--save you from you. But I'm not your therapist--you have Elias to do that. I guess I'm just second best and that's all I'll ever be for you."
She got up to leave and I grasped her hand and pulled her back beside me on the couch.
"Don't go, Stella. I was a fool and like you said, I saw Blythe through the glamour and bright lights of the 1920's,
but I didn't need magic, I needed a person. I'm afraid I saw Blythe more as a monument. I don't want to perform any more, I want to wake up with you, a living, breathing person who loves me despite my flaws."
"You mean you could love me with messy hair and no makeup?"
"You love me and I'm a mess, so yes, we'd make a good pair. And I'm going to demolish that wing and maybe rebuild that part of the house as a nursery, so there'll be no steps backward, but only forward from this point on.