Here is a short story I did for the people over at Splex, as a creative retelling of a battle mage's journey into using Splex the service. Shout out to Yixn and GenepoolChlrn8r for all their hard work making the service. You may recgonize a few of the other names in here.....at least the handsome hero for sure. Go Asgard!!!
-Enjoy!
A young battle mage stared petulantly into the distance, a scowl clouding his roguish features. TThammer had a rough go of it lately. On the surface, he stood calm, his shoulders back, ready to take on whatever faced him. He had won more fame than most in the arena against older opponents with deeper pockets, and his athletic abilities were renowned and appreciated by many a maiden’s wandering eye in the marketplace. He had achieved most of what a street-born mage could, but it simply wasn’t enough.
To make matters worse, his brother Bree had managed to corner the market back in the Untamed days, whilst TThammer was off fighting on behalf of the royal army and developing the sculpted musculature that struck fear into his enemies and ruined many a marriage. Bree now sat on enough land to keep him gorged and sated until the end of his days. And fat and happy he surely was, TTHammer thought in disgust, content to spend his days attended by servants in the lap of luxury, no aspirations for glory and adventure. One championship at Splinterfest and he had elevated himself to godlike status in his own mind and seemed to be content to rest on his laurels. But TTHammer knew truly glory was found in the conquering of undiscovered lands, slaughtering the nation’s enemies in the name of Yodin, liberating their women, and in this laid the source of his current struggle.
Our hero had spent his last coin earned through blood and sweat in the arena on some rental monsters, but the income generated simply wasn’t enough to fund his vision of grandeur. Plus, the management of assets was taking away time from necessary pursuits like battling, physical fitness, and bedding the plethora of willing maidens. He simply couldn’t lower himself to grovel at the feet of his brother Bree to fund his expeditions, as the dishonor would be too great. There must be another way. He decided he would consult the gods and proceeded to spend many moons in dedication to Father Yodin, slaughtering multitudes of battering rams in his honor, pushing his body to the breaking point of exhaustion, and drawing calculations in the sand on how to price and manage his rentals. Despite his maximum efforts, it still wasn’t enough. The timing and execution eluded him, and Father Yodin had decided to blast away his calculations with a bolt of lightning when TTHammer had cursed the sky in frustration.
Beaten, bloody, and shamed, TTHammer dragged his feet towards the marketplace, desperate for a flagon of mead to whet his extreme thirst. As he stumbled towards the closest tavern, he ducked under a pavilion tent to closely escape the passage of a crazed wagon driver, swerving haphazardly all over the road. Seated upon the wagon was a local merchant, Nate of York, who dubiously waved an apology. “Crazy drunken bastard”, TThammer muttered. Whatever distant land York was, he knew he would avoid the streets at all costs. As he went to step out from under the tent, he felt a set of hands grab his shoulders from behind. TTHammer spun around violently, ready to loose vengeance upon his assailant. “Please good master, a moment of your time, don’t punish your humble servant”, croaked a hooded, stooping figure. I can help you”, he whispered. I hear you yearn for greatness, with ambitions beyond these humble lands. Perhaps a way to escape your brother’s shadow…hmmmm? ….the old craven cackled. TTHammer stared unflinchingly into the cowl, “Well, get on with it then, old man.” The hunchback began whispering of forbidden methods, of a dark service called the rental golem, but TThammer cut him off abruptly. He had heard of these shortcuts to grandeur; these “bots”, and much like the easy road of the forbidden chalice of steroid strength, TTHammer despised lesser men who would take these forbidden substances or ever allow another to fight in his place. “Cowards”, he spat into the corner of the tent. The hunched man quickly waved his hands in excitement. “No, no, good sir, this is nothing like that which you despise. This service merely provides freedom, freedom to chase glory and honor…. and women” he emphasized with a smirk. “Whilst you are away, the rental golem does the lesser work ….of servants really, managing and adjusting your rentals to optimize your earnings while you are doing what you were destined for, becoming all you were meant to be. We take care of it all, for a small fee of course… he he”…. The robed figure chuckled darkly. TTHammer contemplated the possibilities, questioned his honor, but determined to succeed on his quest for grandeur, he haggled a deal in the murky atmosphere of the candlelit tent.
The next day he abruptly realized, his profits had increased ten-fold, and it was just as the old man had said. He had more time for seeking fame, more maidens in his bed, and most importantly, for vengeance. TTHammer was coming for his brother Bree, and not even the gods could stop him. He climbed to the top of the tallest mountain nearby and screamed his fury into the heavens. “My brother may have the upper hand for now, but nobody will remember his name, TTHammer swore. “As he descended the hilltops back into town, he decided to search for the mysterious figure who had changed his life. After hours of searching in the waning light of early morn, TTHammer heard a familiar snicker nearby a shack on the deserted side of town. Sprinting over, he saw a retreating figure fading into the darkness. “Wait, TTHammer called out, what do I call you?” The figure paused his unseemly gait and his whispering tone carried like an icy breeze back to TTHammer. “My son…. call me…. .Yixn. Welcome to the brotherhood of Splex. Do us proud…..or face our wrath.”