Introduction
WrestleMania! The biggest show of the calendar year for any wrestling fan. Sorry this review took a while, I've been dealing with some family issues, but let's finally get this done. I'll do my best to pull through, there's a lot to cover.
WrestleMania took place at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans for the second time in history, the first time being WrestleMania 30.
WrestleMania 30 is widely considered as one of the better Manias of the modern era, so did WrestleMania 34 live up to the last show held at the Superdome?
The official attendance figure has been reported as 78,133, but WWE always works these numbers, so take that with a grain of salt. It was a packed house, though, no doubt.
Let's get this out of the way first, and I promise I won't bitch about this any further than right here: the show was too long.
The main card lasted for five hours, and was preceded by a two-hour preshow, clocking the entire show at seven hours, which is absolutely too much for a wrestling show.
Especially in 2018 when people already suffer from attention deficit order.
I was burned out by the end of it, and I can only imagine how the people in the arena were feeling. The WWE also seems to be increasing the runtime for all of its PPVs instead of scaling down, which is a business decision I highly question, and actually as a shareholder, I'd like to see a change.
But everybody and their mothers have already talked about the show being too long, so I won't make this review about that. It was too long, and we all know it.
The three big things we were all looking forward to were, of course, Ronda Rousey's WWE debut, Daniel Bryan's comeback, and Shinsuke vs. AJ.
My overall thoughts on the show are quite positive! And I'm not alone, I've seen a lot of people give the show a thumbs up, so let's find out why and run down the card.
Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat: Seth Rollins defeated The Miz (c) and Finn Balor
The show opens up with a rarity: a good triple threat match. I'm usually not a big fan of triple threat matches, and wrestlers themselves have gone on record saying that they hate triple threat matches because they're hard to pull off. These guys did it, though. And they did it despite the odd dynamic of having two babyfaces and only one heel. Usually triple threat matches work better with two heels.
I'm a big fan of The Miz, always have been, I like Rollins, but find Balor to be something of an overrated indy darling. And yes, I've seen his Prince Devitt stuff in New Japan.
I had no complaints here, though. Miz has made the IC title relevant for the first time in a very long time, and I've been missing a competitive IC division like this. I think guys like Balor are actually best served in a meaningful IC division, instead of competing for the main event titles.
I know a lot of people disagree, but as someone who loves the WWF from the 80s and 90s, I'd like to remind that the IC title used to be a huge deal back in the day.
It was considered to be an honor to be the Intercontinental champion back in the days of Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect because those guys were the workhorses who gave the fans the actual wrestling match when guys like Hogan and a barely mobile - at the time - Andre were the main event.
So I don't see the IC division to be a demotion for someone like Rollins. I'd like to see him make the most of it.
A fast-paced match, everybody did a good job, and the match really benefitted from the opening slot that still had the hot and enthusiastic crowd.
It really did all an opener should be. It set the pace, warmed up the crowd, and overall was a really tight package.
I was confused about Balor not doing his Demon gimmick, though. You'd think he'd do it at WrestleMania of all days. I don't know. Maybe because he wasn't winning?
Rating: 3/5
SmackDown! Women's Championship: Charlotte Flair (c) defeated Asuka
Actually, one of the matches of the night!
I was a bit surprised by the match placement here. Personally, I would have swapped this one with the match between Bliss and Nia, but that's just me.
Going in, I wasn't sure what to expect. The matches being hyped up so much that it almost cast a black cloud above it because in wrestling, the dream matches have a habit of not living up to the hype.
I'd say this one did, though.
However, I must say. I liked the match more on second viewing. I was chatting with a friend of mine while watching the show live, so that probably has to do with it.
I was also skeptical about the match because it was babyface vs. babyface, but at least Asuka's three-year winning streak was on the line, so the drama was there despite the disposition dilemma.
Easily the best women's match on the main roster I've seen in the WWE. I thought about that for a while and decided to give the match that nod.
The ending was a surprise because we all assumed Asuka would be continuing her streak, but she indeed tapped out to the Figure-Eight.
A special shout out to Charlotte for selling her arm during the Figure-Eight. Little details like that rarely happen in WWE and it was a really nice touch.
After the match, Asuka states that Charlotte was "ready for Asuka" and gives her props and the two do the babyface embrace. I was expecting Asuka to grab Charlotte to an armbar and turn heel, but it didn't happen.
Now, a lot of people hated the finish. They're saying Charlotte didn't need it, Asuka deserved to keep her streak intact, but listen up.
Asuka will be easier to book now without the streak. Streaks are cool, they're an easy vehicle to create drama and get someone over, but they also need to end at some point. After a certain period of time, streaks become a burden, and you always have to end them before the people get bored with them, not after.
Goldberg was getting Goldberg Sucks chants at StarrCade in 1998 when he wrestled Nash. People were saying that Goldberg should not have lost then, but I'd argue the right time to end that streak was two months prior at Halloween Havoc when Goldberg faced DDP.
My dream scenario would have been Asuka winning and then Carmella cashing in her Money in the Bank on Asuka, but I'm pretty much alone on that. Having Carmella, whose gimmick is that of a somewhat incompetent heel, be the one to end Asuka's dominance and brag about it nonstop would have been a surefire heat magnet, but WWE chose to have Carmella cash in on Charlotte the Tuesday after.
The word on the streets is that WWE is planning to do Charlotte and Ronda Rousey in the main event of WrestleMania next year, and it feels weird that the women headlining Mania doesn't feel like a weird idea.
The times we live in.
But great job by both women, definitely a top match on the show.
Rating: 4/5
United States Championship Fatal Four Way: Jinder Mahal defeated Randy Orton (c), Bobby Roode, and Rusev
A low point. Not a bad match, but there's really nothing to say. It was a TV match, which is something I don't want to see at a WrestleMania. But alas, they are unavoidable.
Something to mention is Rusev being crazy over. There has to be a backstage reason for his lack of push. He's big, he can talk, he has great comedic timing, he's agile as all hell, he can wrestle, has a great look, he's the total package.
Rusev should be headlining every show on both brands forever.
Can you tell I'm a Rusev fan?
Jinder is Jinder. I don't hate him, or anything. I may even like him more than most do, but it's not like he sets the world on fire. But WWE clearly likes him and will keep pushing him. I think Vince may like the fact that Jinder got himself ripped. And good for Jinder, he does deserve praise for the hard work he put in. I tend to rag on Owens for not having the motivation to work out, so I do respect Jinder for getting ripped. It's underrated in wrestling these days.
Randy Orton used to be great, but I think 16 years consistently in the WWE can drain motivation and enthusiasm from just about anybody. Even John Cena has been phoning it in sometimes lately. The problem with guys like Cena and Orton is that they've been on top and featured for so long. No matter how good you are, it gets old. It took six-seven years for people to get sick of Hogan - and that was when there was a lot less WWE programming available, and there definitely weren't monthly PPVs. Orton and Cena have been heavily featured in top programs since 2004 and 2005, respectively. There's only so much you can do with characters like that to keep them interesting.
Bobby Roode has not impressed me in the WWE. I liked Beer Money as much as the next guy in TNA around 2010, first of all, that eight years ago, and second of all, I think Roode is a tad overrated in general. He's his theme song. The theme song is over. People like to yell GLORIOUS, but that seems to be all there is to Bobby Roode. Maybe he'll prove me wrong, but we'll see. He's definitely miscast as a babyface. The whole Glorious gimmick is tailor-made for a heel.
And you just can't cheer a man as handsome as Roode. Damn him. I'm jealous. Boo.
See? He should be a heel.
A forgettable match, nothing to mention. Rusev takes the pin for some reason, proving to me that he's pissed somebody off because he was pretty much the only over guy in the match.
Jinder is the new US champion, so I guess they're doing the fresh and exciting anti-American as US champion thing.
Rating: 2/5
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey defeated Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
Match of the night, by far. By far. The only thing that touched this one was the Charlotte and Asuka match, but this one eclipsed that by a mile.
We were all rather nervous going into this match because none of us had any idea of what Ronda was going to be capable of. And Angle is old and broken down, too. So, I was scared for this match.
Those fears proved to be unfounded, however, since this right here stole the show at WrestleMania.
If you ask me, that's a pretty good debut accomplishment for one Ronda Rousey.
Ronda pulled her stuff off very well for the most part. Yes, a few things here and there were sloppy, but it was nothing that took away from the match. I had a problem with her smiling on her way to the ring because I think she should always have her killer expression on, but she did have that during the match.
Kurt Angle is old and slow. He's not the Kurt Angle from 2005, he's not even Kurt Angle from 2010. Kurt Angle in 2018 is someone I'd rather not see in the ring much. And it's not like he has anything to prove. He's one of the best and always will be. Time to give that body a rest. But if this is how he goes out, he's going out in a great way. I doubt it is, but I don't think it's possible for him to have a better last match at this stage in the game.
Yes, Stephanie even trying to reverse a Ronda Rousey armbar was silly, but this is pro wrestling. This is the WWE. We have to suspend our disbelief every time we watch it. Otherwise, Irish whips don't even make any sense whatsoever.
Speaking of Stephanie, I have to give her credit. I rarely do, but this is one of those times. She really did her job really well here. She even finally put someone over. After years of bitchslapping every babyface on the roster and never getting her comeuppance, it was satisfying to see the evil heel vanquished. At least for now.
Even Triple H was really giving in this match, and there was a moment I actually thought Triple H would tap out to Ronda's armbar.
Since Batista in 2005, I can count on one hand the number of times Triple H has actually made someone look strong against him, so it was nice to see him do the right thing.
This is where the show peaked, this is where the crowd peaked, this is where everything peaked. After this, unfortunately, it was downhill pretty much.
But as far as this match goes, it was awesome. One of the most entertaining WWE matches in a really, really long time.
I've said in the past that Ronda has been dead in the water after her two UFC losses, but this match made her a star in the WWE. Let's see if she can keep it up. If so, I can see Rousey and Charlotte headlining WrestleMania next year easily.
This is the match people should seek and watch.
Rating: 4.5/5
SmackDown! Tag Team Championship Triple Threat: The Bludgeon Brothers defeated The Usos (c) and The New Day
Another TV match with nothing going on. Pretty disappointing, considering I love Luke Harper, and the New Day and the Usos have had some show stealers in the past.
But this was one of those tag team triple threat let's-get-everybody-on-the-card matches. It was what I expected, which was five or so minutes of nothing really.
Harper and Rowan become the tag champions, so let's see what happens, I suppose. I don't mind Harper teaming with Rowan to bring life to the tag division, but Harper is someone I really like, and I feel he has more to offer than what he's been given a chance to showcase in the WWE. I actually dug him back when he was Brodie Lee in the indy circuit. He's a great big guy and could be something like the Undertaker, honestly. It's a bold claim, but as far as big men go, Harper is top class.
This was actually the WrestleMania debut for the Usos, after debuting in the company in 2009 or 2010, I think.
Rating: 2/5
The Undertaker defeated John Cena
Okay, so this was a weird one.
This match wasn't officially part of the card. The story going in was that Cena challenged the Undertaker, but never got an answer. So, during the show, Cena was sitting in the crowd as a fan, the story being that since Taker didn't answer the challenge, Cena doesn't have a match.
Cena then had a brief segment with Elias, resulting in Cena putting Elias down with the FU - I still call it the FU - and then the gong goes off and Undertaker shows up.
What took place then was a two-minute squash.
Undertaker got his signature spots in, Cena had a brief moment where he got the heat on Taker, but it was quickly ended, and Taker put him down with one Tombstone Piledriver.
And that was it. It was literally under three minutes.
Well, I constantly rag on matches and shows and everything being too long in the WWE, so at least this was short and sweet.
I didn't hate it, it was just random. And that's not a bad thing. Just a weird thing.
This would have worked better had The Undertaker showed up as the American Badass, it really would have. The allure of seeing the American Badass gimmick would have eclipsed the match itself and taken the attention away from it. I was disappointed to see the old Deadman.
I thought he retired last year, I really did. I even got slightly emotional when he left his hat and gloves in the ring. And now he's back - and did this.
Where to from here?
And why?
Rating: 1/5
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon defeated Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
The mixed tag with Rousey, Angle, Stephanie, and Triple H was the match of the night, but this was the moment of the night.
The return of Daniel Bryan.
How could you not love every minute of Bryan making his comeback?
We were all heartbroken in early 2016 when Bryan was forced to retire due to his concussion issues, and we never, ever, ever thought we'd see him in a WWE ring again in a wrestling capacity.
For me, personally, this came out of the blue, but it's awesome that it happened.
The match itself... eh, it was what it was.
I think they did a mistake early on by taking Bryan out with the apron powerbomb and having Shane go at it alone. I know what they were trying to do on paper: they wanted to build anticipation for Bryan finally getting into the ring and getting physical, but I think the attempt fell flat on its face.
Once people were not getting Bryan early on, the energy just left the crowd. Shane looked rough, and the match before Bryan getting involved was pretty terrible, in all honesty.
The people wanted Bryan, and they should have been given Bryan immediately.
Bryan finally getting involved did salvage what was salvageable, but the match wasn't that good by any means. That said, this match wasn't really about the match. It was about Bryan's return, and that aspect of the match worked.
So, in the end, the match did what it was supposed to do.
Happy to see Bryan back. I hope he stays healthy and gets to be happy. It was heart-wrenching seeing him as the SmackDown! GM because we all knew he wasn't enjoying being close to what he loved to do, but unable to do it himself.
Really, really happy for him.
Welcome back, Daniel Bryan Danielson.
Rating: 2.5/5
RAW Women's Championship: Nia Jax defeated Alexa Bliss (c)
Alexa Bliss is probably my favorite WWE wrestler, no joke. Favorites are a fickle thing, they change constantly, but I'm not kidding when I say I absolutely love Alexa Bliss - and not just because she's smoking hot.
Alexa is probably the best talker and actor in the entire company. She really gets her character, she works hard on her character, and does a lot of small things, facial expressions, etc. that no one else really does in the company.
Not the best "wrestler", but wrestling, to me, has never really been about that, honestly. It's always been about the characters. That's probably why I'm not as invested in today's product as I was in days gone by because a lot of the emphasis has been put on "five-star matches", and less on characters and character development.
This was not a five-star match, but it told a good story. It was a good old school story. Alexa was the evil bully bitch, Nia was the sympathetic victim, and the bully finally got her lips smacked off her face.
Props to both girls because the small heel/big babyface dynamic is hard to pull off.
I'm not super sold on Nia Jax as a babyface, but I'll give her a chance.
The crowd was deflated at this point, though, and it really started to show.
Rating: 3/5
WWE Championship: AJ Styles (c) defeated Shinsuke Nakamura
The one everybody wanted to see. The one everybody talked about. The one that was going to steal the show.
Except that it... didn't. Not really.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad match, but here's the problem.
There was no story going into this. This whole program ties into my biggest complaint about wrestling these days: it's all about "the match".
If wrestling was a shoot, you'd never see two guys attempting to have a "dream match". No, if wrestling were real, you'd always attempt to win a match quickly and effectively. There's no kayfabe reason to ever attempt to have a "good match".
There was no heel in the feud going in, it wasn't even really a feud. The story was two guys going into WrestleMania to have a great match, and the title just happened to be on the line.
This match was made for the smart marks, but the problem there, too, is the fact that the smart marks like both AJ and Nakamura, so no one was able to pick a side, which only added to the lack of drama.
The match just sort of happened.
It was good, but it was pointless. Wrestle Kingdom 10 this was not.
Not to rag on the guys too much, everything was executed perfectly, both guys are top notch performers, but the match never really kicked into high gear. I had a feeling this was going to happen, honestly, just based on the build up.
Yes, we all know wrestling is a work, but that doesn't mean that the story doesn't matter, it does. And this match suffered from a lack of story.
The only noteworthy thing happened after the match as Nakamura turned heel by delivering a low blow to AJ.
I liked it, Nakamura will probably make a great heel, but this should have happened during the buildup to give the match some heat.
Good, but nothing special. I'm confident these guys will give better matches as the feud goes on and there's actual heat in the story now, but WrestleMania shouldn't be "part one", it should be the culmination of a story.
Rating: 3/5
RAW Tag Team Championship: Braun Strowman and Nicholas defeated Cesaro and Sheamus (c)
So, yeah. This happened.
The story was that Braun Strowman didn't have a partner, so what he did was pick a random kid in the audience to be his partner, and basically had a handicap match in which he squashed the tag champs on his own.
It was silly, but I didn't mind it that much. The kid was actually the referee's son from what I've gathered.
The crowd seemed to get a kick out of it, so there's that. And it was probably amazing for the kid, so I'm happy for him.
But not much to talk about, moving on.
Rating: 1/5
Universal Championship: Brock Lesnar (c) defeated Roman Reigns
Rant time.
If you're sensitive to differing opinions, especially when it comes to wrestling, please look away. Stop reading. Right now.
For those of you that are still here.
I don't understand the problem people have with Roman Reigns. I really, honestly don't.
Roman, once again, performed really well here. I really like Roman's body language, facial expressions and storytelling abilities. He has a lot of the abilities that made old school wrestlers awesome.
Back when wrestling was about the the story not a dozen or so inwards reverse modified 630 splashes every two minutes.
Roman tells a story. He sells. He does what a pro wrestler is supposed to do, and he does it well. Yet the people never give him a chance, never.
He's an amazing athlete, he always does impressive things in the ring, he's often one half of the match of the show.
His only downside is his talking, and even that has improved a great deal. I really liked his promos during the buildup to this match. But people never give him credit, they just cry about one suffering succotash promo from, uhh, four years ago. Maybe three.
I don't get it.
Except I do.
My extremely unpopular theory is that a lot of the "real men" who watched wrestling have long since moved on to the UFC, and what is left in the fanbase are nerds and geeks who will never relate to, or live vicariously through, someone like Roman Reigns.
This also explains Daniel Bryan's massive popularity.
I love Bryan, but everybody knows he's a nerd. In contrast, Reigns reminds the fans of the jock from school who played on the football team, got all the girls, and punched the nerds in the face.
Roman makes the fans feel inferior, whereas Bryan is someone is "just like them", so they want to see the fellow nerd succeed.
And I'll stress again: I love Bryan, this wasn't meant to discredit him as a wrestler, at all. I loved Bryan back when he was in Ring of Honor tearing the house down with Nigel McGuinness back in the day.
The Roman Reigns hate train is just something that has severely hampered my enjoyment of the WWE product since 2015. No matter what he does. No matter how many awesome matches he has with AJ, Strowman, or whoever, the fans have just decided to hate the ground he walks on. And the dude doesn't deserve it.
The talk about how Roman Reigns is shoved down people's throats is ridiculous, in my opinion. Remember Austin in 1998? RAW was two hours, and Austin took about an hour of that per week. Austin was shoved down people's throats way harder than Roman has ever been.
This is how WWE books their main event talent. It's nothing new.
Anyways, the match.
It was good. I liked it.
The story here was that no one has kicked out of the F5 since a year ago, so Lesnar was spamming the F5 multiple times to put Roman down, but Roman was determined enough to kick out again, and again, and again, until the sixth one which finally did the job.
It was an old school type match. Two big dudes hitting each other with everything they have. Roman told a story of desperation, accentuated by the fact that he got busted open hard way, which made for a great visual.
I especially loved the final two minutes or so of the match, as Roman looked like an unstoppable beast, only to get the short end of the stick in the form of the sixth F5.
It was like a hard-working hockey team coming up short by just that much in the Olympic finals, and having to settle for the silver medals.
Of course, the match was crapped on by the fans, so it wasn't the classic it could have been.
I still liked their WrestleMania 31 encounter more, but this match was really enjoyable, still.
Rating: 3.75/5
Overall
Looking at the match rankings, one could think that this wasn't such a great Mania, but it was better than the sum of its parts, somehow.
I rate the show overall based on my general enjoyment during the show, and it was high enough for a WrestleMania. I'd rank this as the best Mania since 30, honestly. It was slightly better than 31, which was also a very good Mania.
The matches I was looking forward to delivered, the ones that didn't were good breathers.
I wasn't expecting much from AJ and Nakamura, as I said, so that helped.
Rousey had a great debut, Bryan is back, the main event was good, and we got an awesome Asuka vs. Charlotte match.
Those are the four things I'd go out of my way to watch.
I know this was long, but so was the show, so if you made it through this, thank you for reading. You are a strong individual.
Until next time.
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