Even the structured lights flashing across her open eyes were piercing her brain, but she had to queue up these data records or else it wasn’t going to work. She was already rocking on her heels as she squatted next to her datagram. Feeling already too unstable in her current position, she sat on her ankles like a student. But it wasn't enough. Her tunic hurt, which caused her ears to ring. She stripped them off until she was only in her briefs. Had she been coherent enough, she would have thanked herself for at least making it to her somewhat private chambers before the stimuli got too bad.
Seven, now eight data records were being read aloud simultaneously. This should be driving her mad. But the exercise, while excruciating at first, promised to make her mentally stronger for the next time. She shut her eyes and let herself rock backwards and forwards. Everything hurt. Sounds, touch, taste and now her ears as well. But as the cool air caressed her skin, she attempted to focus on one thing. The data being recited was a mixture of planet information, alien flora and fauna, history and ancient Jedi manuscripts. They were all being read aloud to her simultaneously, and her aim was to let the voices wash over her and focus on just one. She chose to focus on the article about Ryloth, separating out this steady stream of information so that it became its own river, separate from the others.
As she frowned in concentration, her rocking became slower and her fingers let go of their chokehold on her thigh. She began to relax. Despite the cacophony of voices, the sound became white. Calming and predictable.
“Its terrain varied, filled with jungles, mesas, valleys, and volcanoes, and had an atmosphere breathable for Twi'leks and humans alike..”
One by one, each voice stream silenced, as it reached the end of its monologue. She sat on her legs in silence now. Her head moving slowly to a flowing symphony in her head only she could hear.
She’d made so much progress in the recent years and these meltdowns had become less frequent than they used to be. But she chastised herself afterwards for being so behind all the other younglings in the temple. Their struggles were easy, like having the wrong foot placements for techniques, or not being able to jump high enough to reach the blue block in the training hall. Those were all physical things that could be practiced and perfected. Even using the Force could be a practical exercise. But this… this made her feel weak.
Opening her eyes into slits, she felt around for her tunic. She could now be grateful of the time of day she was in. All the other younglings would be in mess hall, eating dinner which she was all too happy to miss. Exhausted, she crawled towards her bunkbed, climbed the ladder slowly and collapsed into bed. Tomorrow would have its own battles. Thankfully today is over, she though as sleep took her away.
