I could go on for days about the beauty, grace, and poise of my hometown. It's trendy, artsy, LGBT-supporting, and absurdly dog friendly. However, this post isn't about my hometown.
This post is about Florida.
In peaceful protest of the government shutdown and the government in general, I'm proud to share with you what Florida is most-known for, and why it is the best state in the whole U S of A.
Without realizing, I compiled all of the Statewars themes into one post!
image from more florida memes
Our state mascot: AKA Famous People of Florida
Florida Man
We are known nationwide for our audacious, creative, and fearless people. We are a people who keep alligators as pets, who eat bath salts for breakfast and DGAF about the illegalities of prostitution and drug dealing. Some notable Florida-men:
Miami-based Recording Artist: Stitches
Lord Voldemort AKA Govenor Rick Scott
Maybe he's trying to right his wrongs by signing Bill 90 into law to actually promote the growth solar power in Florida.
He's a real winner when it comes to stripping women of access to certain health services
"But we have more jobs!"
Tim Tebow
Actually, he's disqualified because he quit Florida to play baseball.
Our state food: The Pub Sub
AKA Favorite Foods +Places to Eat
gif from thrillist
If you have never had the overwhelming delicacy experience of a $5 freshly made Pub Sub, you truly haven't lived. Here's what popular news outlets are saying about the now-infamous Pub Sub.
According to Arielle Castillo, a reporter for Major League Soccer and a native Floridian, the subs are also quite nostalgic. "Yes, they're good sandwiches, but they're also the sandwiches you'd get before a beach day, or while skipping high school or something," she says. "There's something Proustian about them." (source)
Publix is a grocery store gifted straight from the heavenly angels to the southern regions of the United States. And everyone knows that the holy of holies of Publix is their glorious, omnipotent, infallible subs... Waiting for your sandwich to get made is like watching Michelangelo as he paints delicate brushstrokes onto the Sistine Chapel ceiling. (source).
We're a budget-friendly state, because you only need a one-season wardrobe.
Except Winter 2018 apparently
AKA Favorite Attraction: Winter in Florida
This is the real headline from the source article from this photo:
Cold weather is coming, and Miami is about to lose its mind
Currently in Miami:
We are arguably the Most Meme-able State
and definitely the relative laughing-stock of the lower-48.
THIS MAN IS LITERALLY FROM MY HOMETOWN AND I SAW HIM AT THE BEACH FOR DECADES
~Thankfully, I grew up in the coolest city in Florida: AKA My Favorite City
Growing up in St Pete is nothing like what I imagine growing up in the greater "Florida" to be. We had beaches, we had tourists, we had snowbirds, and we had citrus.
Oh, and we had ORANGE GROVE CREAMERY ICE CREAM.
But I also had the arts, a progressive community that cared about the environment, its citizens living in poverty, repairing the damage caused by racism in the 60s-70s, tons of delicious food, diverse culture, Boyd Hill nature park, and a decent proximity to many other cool places like: Tampa, Sarasota, Naples (eh, decent), Ocala National Forest, numerous natural springs, Orlando, and yes, I'm going to say it, Disney World.
To learn more about my beautiful hometown, check out my zine
St Petian, an arts & culture magazine for the people of St Pete.
Read the full digital version on Issuu.
Have you ever been to Florida? Was it as crazy as they said?
I now live in the gorgeous state of Tennessee, but I still respect my Floridian roots. However, there is one Floridian faux-pas that I will never. ever. ever. commit.
AKA State Symbol
all images from more florida memes unless otherwise stated
Hi, I'm Amelia! It's nice to meet you.
I'm a writer, minimalist, tiny home dweller, and maker living in East Tennessee, USA. My blog has lived at www.amelia-bartlett.com until I discovered Steemit, where I now post most of my work. To learn more about me, check out my introduction post, get up-to-date on my school bus tiny house conversion, and follow me for articles on slow living, sustainable fashion, self-expression, and quality curated resteems!
