Personal issues are meant to be personal. Nothwithstanding, there are times when we have some grave matters we need to confide in someone hoping no other ears will hear it and no other mouth will speak of it only to wake up the next day and discover it is the headline of every discussion. It could be that the information was divulged by the person you told or by someone who was eavesdropping. Whatever the case may be, a trust already has been broken. This behaviour is very unethical and common in our societies but most unfortunate is the fact that it is silently creeping into the church.
TALEBEARING
Talebearing is revealing of a secret. The secret could be real or factual but the fact that it is confidential and not meant to be revealed makes the act, talebearing. Eaves dropping is an act of talebearing. Proverbs 20:19.
A talebearer is one who goes about spreading rumours that is likely to cause harm or problems. A talebearer is a whisperer, a gossip, a rumour monger. The book of 1timothy 5:15 defines a talebearer as a busy body and an idle tattler. A talebearer do not mind his business. He pokenoses into matters he's not invited to just to get the information he requires to go about spreading malicious gossips with an intention of making himself look good and the other person look bad. If you have nothing good to say about a person it is better you keep silent than fanning the flames of gossips. God forbids carrying scandalous news of your fellow brethren.
Imagine a sister is overtaken in the act of fornication that led to pregnancy and then to abortion. This sister having realised she has fallen from grace confesses her sin to a brother just like the bible commanded so they can pray together only for that brother to go about telling the whole church about it. This would leave the sister with a wounded spirit and she would no longer be interested in such prayers. Anybody can fall from grace, when such happens, the bible enjoined us to restore such a person with love being careful lest we fall into same sin. Imagine a case of a family going through a difficult financial time and decides to confide in a sister so she can assist them financially only for her to form small groups in church telling them about the financial problems of the family and how much she has assisted them. God frowns at such attitude.
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Although there are so many examples that proves talebearing, there are some acts that cannot be said to be talebearing even when carried out by Christians. Such acts includes;
■ Reporting the negative attitude of a child to his parents, wife to her husband or Christian to the church. This is not talebearing as such act is carried out with the intent to reproof and correct for righteousness sake. Before doing so, it is commanded that you must have tried talking to the person about his fault and the person has vehemently refused to change. Gal 6:1-2, 1Thess 5:14
■ Citing the morals and behaviours of people as an example to instruct and exhort others is not an act of talebearing. This is aimed at making people learn from the experiences of others.
■ Testifying to the truth in a person or telling the truth about a situation when a person is being slandered or questioned.
■ Reporting the arrival or release of somebody who had been apprehended for whom the church has been offering prayers on behalf. Acts 12:15.
THE EVIL IN TALEBEARING
A talebearer reveals secrets which should have remained as secrets. Proverb 20:9
A talebearer causes strife and quarrel among friends leading to enmity. Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 6:16-19
A talebearer might cause blood to be shed. Ezekiel 22:9.
A talebearer causes irreparable damage it could be physical damage or emotional damage. Proverb 18:8
EFFECTS OF BEING A A TALEBEARER
You will no longer be trusted with a secret.
You will be seen as an unfaithful Christian or an unbeliever.
You will lose friends in the church.
You will have no fellowship with God because he commands us in Leviticus 19:16 not to be a talebearer.
God does not want us to suffer as an evil doer and a talebearer 1Pet 4:15. Talebearing doesn't glorify the spirit rather the flesh. It is a sin and the wages of sin is death. We should try to avoid the urge to gossip or bear rumours which are meant to cause damage. Christians should maintain good relationships with one another, if we love our neighbour as ourselves, we would only look after their welfare and not seek to damage their integrity, reputation and personality
