Moving to New York City is a reflection of many people’s dreams.
In fact, it was the beginning of the manifestation of my dream.
The Big Apple of opportunity, itself, seems like a whole new world. New York City is driven by ambition and fueled chaos. But apart from being the mecca of the future, the city is a breathing, living entity.
Upon my introduction to this creature of a city, I learned a lot about the hustle of the busy streets and what lies beneath them. Every alleyway has a story and every person you encounter shares a fraction of your dream, my dream.
Just as there is the beacon of hope and light that glows throughout the city, there is also its luminous darkness.
Intimidating skyscrapers tower above as you cross the streets of downtown. It is the dawning feeling of being small among the city walls that follows you down the streets. While your mind is constantly jumping to conclusions whether or not you are worth this city.
It’s hard not to get lost in the crowds when you feel like small speck among the swarms of commuters. New York has its own flow and pace of movement. It is a dance you need to practice and learn with every street you turn. I get lost in its choreography sometimes, taking a step too short or too far. As I jump across the puddles, leaf piles, or snow all seasons round,
I learn the vibrancy of the city.
It has become an adventure, to walk outside your house every day, not knowing what you might encounter that same day. The subways are a game of catch every single time you are off by a minute. It is one of the best places to meet people, inches away from touching noses in the subway car. You forget all the concept of personal space while riding among strangers, packed like sardines. But those long packed subway rides possess their own version of beauty, embedded in the art of people-watching.
By the fifth stop, you are no longer riding with strangers. Even though their names are left unknown until they get off their stop, it is the simple characteristics that tell you about the person.
The subway is the ruler of the underground, connecting the city from beneath.
It is my favorite place to observe the meaning of the city. I memorize the train schedules just as quick as I learn the faces of commuters sharing the train car with me every morning at 9 am. In the daytime, the halls breathing with life as the bustle of people rush through every hour, but as night begins to creep over the city, the sound of eeriness stretches itself through the empty tracks.
Nonetheless, you have made it out of the underground and onto the busy streets of Midtown.
The smell of pretzels, hot dogs and nuts fill up the streets. You walk into the rhythm of the crowd, every step to a beat. The big glass windows of your favorite stores glance back at your reflection, as you stand in awe of your surroundings.
I stop myself every so often, just to catch my breath, as I look at the sun rays peeking through buildings. They creep up through the walls and up to the roofs where they glisten.
At that point, I am looking at a city with a gold-covered brim that shines through to the sky, and I say to myself, this is my city.
A bike rushes by catching me off-guard, I follow it with my gaze. The Empire State building starts to show itself through the cracks of the high-rise buildings as I make my way up towards Fifth-Ave. I let my feet guide me as I fall back into the rhythm of the New York City walk. It is all the famous places that you walk by which give you the jitters, like walking through a set of your favorite movie.
The city tends to play with your emotions like a chess game, bringing you one step closer to feeling empowered and one step back from doubting yourself. As you make your way through the city, you experience and an array of emotions.
You started your journey with intimidation in Downtown, but halfway through Midtown, you felt encouraged and proud. By the time you reach Uptown and Central Park, you are in love with the city.
That is why I chose to live here, because no matter the season, the weather or how bad my day is, I keep walking.
This journey is equivalent to riding a rollercoaster, but the thrill of it lies in the future that you want to build for yourself among the city walls.
It is the aesthetic and the bright lights of Times Square that give you the adrenaline rush.
The men in suits and women in chic dresses that keep your strutting down the streets like you own the place.
The houses with the garden rooftops and oval windows that make you want to build a lifetime of memories here.
The skyline that gives your eyes a spark when you see its shade over the sunset.
It makes me feel like I belong somewhere amongst the crowd, even if there is a million people ahead of me.
But most importantly, the city defines who you are.
It has given me the opportunity to experience freedom, diversity, and acceptance of all that I could desire. A place where all ideas are welcomed and encouraged to break free beyond the social boundaries. Even though the city can be a scary, lonely place and the grayness of it can make you feel homesick. The truth of the matter is, the city changes to the beat of your heart, and with it so do you and its seasons.
The air gets thicker and the days get shorter, but I still keep walking through that 5 pm darkness.
Because I know that as a young girl, who grew up tucked away in a village south of Ukraine, this was the right place to begin my journey.
xx
Taken in SoHo, Ny. 2015