It's 10:30 at night, and I'm sitting at the bar in my kitchen reflecting on the day. We (me, 
After Johnny and Tiff left the house, I told Kali that I was in the mood for a scary movie! I quite possibly felt this way after reading various Steemit posts for @JerryBanfield SWC writing contest.
Check out mine here....https://steemit.com/jerrybanfield/@johngabriel/uninvited-ghosts-of-vietnam-swc
Anyways, Kali was up for it, but after considering vegging out in front of the TV for another 2 hours to watch a movie, after having just endured 4 hours for the Superbowl, I decided that this was not the best option. I've been watching too much TV lately. As I laid in bed last night, I began to have an inner dialogue in my head. It's almost as if my head and heart have been in war against each other on a daily basis these last few weeks. I know what I should be doing in terms of my work, but I end up not doing it!! Do you have this problem? To be honest, I'm not sure which organ produces which voice.
After my workout this morning, I told Kali that I was tired of watching so much TV, and that I needed to begin to create. My ART, My CREATIVITY is always desperate to be seen, but I continue to find "other" things to do in it's place. Why do I do this? What is it that continues to hold me back from pursuing exactly what I want from this life? Why do I procrastinate?
Am I scared? What am I scared of....failure...success...looking like an idiot...all of the above....what?????
I know which way to go--but I continue to believe the small voices inside my head that ultimately jeopardize my future success. My voices don't even necessarily tell me that I will never accomplish what I want from this life. My voices convince me to always start TOMORROW. "Today and right now you don't have to attempt that task" they whisper to me. "You'll always have tomorrow" they lie.
What if there is no tomorrow? What if all I have is this very moment to release the words, videos, ideas, jokes, stories, love, memories, etc...etc...out of me and into the universe? What if?
In Steven Pressfield's book The Art of War he describes how Resistance & Procrastination go hand in hand. He says, "Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it's the easiest to rationalize. We don't tell ourselves, "I'm never going to write my symphony." Instead we say "I am going to write my symphony; I'm just going to start tomorrow."
Yes!!! Yes, Steven this is my and I'm sure many others biggest problem. The stories or rather lies we often tell ourselves become our biggest enemy. WE are the most formidable opponent to ourselves in this life. We stand in our own way. We hold ourselves back!
This battle is not easily won, and as long as we are alive and breathing we will never fully be able to slay this personal dragon. Our only hope is in aggressively storming the battlefields in our life and carving out the future that we see fit for ourselves.
However your future looks to you--no matter how unbelievable it may seem at the moment, I urge you to continue to press in, and do the work necessary to achieve all this life has in store.