None of us can change our yesterdays, but all of us can change our tomorrows' (Colin Powell)
Releasing the anchors of past hurts, anger and fear can often be the final step you need to complete your past and embrace the future. Jack Canfield talks about how he knows people who have forgiven their parents and doubled their income in the ensuing few months, as well as doubled their productivity and doubled their ability to achieve things. One method that he uses is the Total Truth Process. These are how you release negative emotions of the past and come back to your natural state of love and joy in the present.
It can be conducted in writing or verbally, the goal is to express the anger, hurt and/or fear.
- Angry and Resentment
- I'm angry that...
- I hate it when...
- Hurt
- It hurt me when...
- I felt dissapointed when...
- Fear
- I'm afraid that...
- Remorse, regret, and accountability
- I'm sorry that...
- Wants
- All I ever wanted...
- Love, compassion, forgiveness and appreciation
- I understand that...
- I forgive you for...
Forgive and move on
'As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind' (Isabelle Holland). In light of the Law of Attraction, we have already discussed that you attract more of whatever feelings you are experiencing. Being negative, angry and unforgiving about a past hurt only ensures that you'll continue to attract more of the same into your life.
When you do forgive, it puts you back in the present - where good things can happen to you and where you can take action to create future gains for yourself. Jack Canfield expresses with his forgiveness experiences that 'after each experience, I did the work of processing it and forgiving the other party because I knew that if I didn't, those past hurts would eat away at me and prevent me from focusing my full attention on enjoying the present and creating the future life I wanted'.
'Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies' (Nelson Mandela)
The word forgive really means to give it up for yourself - not for them.
Steps to forgiving:
- Acknoweldge your anger and resentment.
- Acknoweldge the hurt and pain it created.
- Acknoweldge the fears and self-doubts that it created.
- Acknowledge any part you may have played in letting the behaviour or event occur or letting it continue.
- Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn't get, and understand where he or she was coming from at that time, nad what needs they were trying to meet - however inelegantly - by their behaviour.
- Let go and forgive the person.
