We break our own DPOS rules to pre emptively fuck him in the ass because of some shit ned may or may not have promised.

Incorrect. The code to freeze Steemit, Inc's accounts' voting rights was in place but it simply wasn't activated, yet.

Also, the first thing Justin Sun did after he had purchased Steemit, Inc was to announce publicly that he was going to dismantle the blockchain.

Now I must be completely fucking mental because I feel most of the community and existing stakeholders sort of went out of their own way to fuck ourselves. Why did it play out this way?

Because with a single point of failure in charge of everything, there is no point of being a blockchain. There is no censorship resistance and thus no selling point. For scaling reasons, Steemit, Inc could just as well have moved the back end over to a centralized database.