My life before way before Steemit was a nightmare.
9 and 1/2 months ago I was readying myself to end my life. I had given up on myself. I had failed my Mother, Sister, Brother, Wife, and especially myself. The culmination of 7 years of abusing myself with drugs. I was at a point in my life where I could no longer go on using drugs anymore, it didn't help the pain of the life I had created around me and I could not live without them because I forgot how.
I wished and prayed for death regularly
My wife would always be angry with me and the last couple of months before I quit she had stopped talking to me. She had given up on me. My Mother was sick with Alzheimers and I could not even talk to her anymore. She had forgotten me. My wife's family well, they hated me. I don't think they hated me because of what I was doing to myself but more because of what I was doing to her daughter. I turned her into a nervous wreck.
My wife would say after a few months of being clean and in Recovery. She was just waiting to come home from work to find me dead from an Overdose. I was so selfish.
I made it it into Recovery and and have been fighting for my life ever since a few days short of 10 months, it amazing how much a year can change things.
The day I found a new set of
| Friends | on Steemit |
|---|---|
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I was a fairly ordinary day just about 2 and 1/2 months ago, I was doing my daily youtube video search for new and interesting things and I saw something in the comments about this site that Pays you to post blogs and Videos!!
I could not believe it. My skeptical mind kept saying to me don't bother with it. Stick with Flakebook and Gootube. Even though they were censoring and shutting down people left and right. ahhhhhhhaaaa I remember which video it was from it was from
where I first heard of steemit. So based upon his credibility I checked it out.
I felt like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz. It was all new and people were friendly, not like youtube. I was amazed!!
So it had been about a week and I manage to get about 6 sbd from a funny star wars lip sync video.. but that was it. Then I wrote a post on the opiate crisis here in Vancouver and I got a big vote from no one else but 
in a sea of no votes, I felt like a king...I got a big vote. It actually made my day. I ran around all day at the recovery center telling everyone they need to join this site, and there is this guy, and you can make $$, etc. lol
I am sure you all who are like me with steemit know the drill.
From then on I felt I had an ally, a friend, someone other than a bot that cared about what I said.
UNTALENTED
Then came the first untalented initiative. I saw that this thing was going to be big. but you see as a recovering addict I tend to suffer from self pity and poor self esteem at times. So in a contest where there are NO losers, I almost didn't bother. In fact I will be honest. I half hearted it. I felt my special little place in the steemit universe dissapearing before my eyes. So I went ahead and posted this: who am I , and because
I probably should have got nothing
but there are no losers, only winners. My saving grace. Well if I could have done it again. I would have done it live this. Redemption
Today
I am growing within the steemit community. I don't have a whole lot of time to be on here.But when I can, I am. Honestly there is no place I would rather be. Steemit has given some wings to this poor lost soul trying to find himself and keep moving forward. I love this place, this place and discord Steemgigs. This place is a key to my Recovery and I know now that God has given me this gift to help me grow as a person, a writer, and to help me get out some of the toxicity that has been killing me for so many years.
Thank you Steemit, Thank you Steemians, Thank you Steemgigs, and Thank you .
I love you all. You are helping me, save my own life.
