That's right, a finished edited article, gone with the digital wind...
It was an amazing morning, waking up to find that the forth post that I have written went from 1 vote...before I went to bed, to 100 overnight! It reached $107 before the price of steem went further down. No matter, I was so elated that I started finishing my next post smiling that I finally had some interested eyes viewing my work! I wasn't just walking, I was dancing on Sunshine until....
So now you know the set up...
I had no Idea that a browser change could make my hard work disappear like the white Rabbit in the Top Hat...and Poof!.....but no Prestige! Cut, copy, but nothing reappeared! The sense of failure and frustration that went through me left me feeling a weird shame, for not being on track, be more careful...I had to first blame me. We can be very hard on ourselves before there is understanding.
Remember, I was so surprised, in awe really, over the encouragement that I received from comments & votes on my last post, from you wonderful Steemians, seconds before this happened. So I guess I went into shock....but that was short lived. At that moment, there was no way to rationalize the loss that fell in the chasm between those two states.
A hot shot of adrinilne flooded my nervous system, then, finding myself frantically trying to revive my lost article. Simular to when superhuman strength empowers one to lift a car off a trapped person! But alas, the rules don't apply to the the smaller monolithic device I held in my hand. But I did have enough superhuman strength to throw my phone all the way to another state! The mix of adrenaline and utter frustration was to much to bear.
Then as soon as the survival instinct to save the last morsel of food had passed.. I fell to the floor like a massive defensive lineman hit me from behind. Feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me.
I sat there in a of a state of pity...you know, that sense of rational justification that says,
OK....I JUST DON'T CARE...I'M DONE...but that didn't satisfy.
Then I got angry...all that hard passionate
work went into nowhere land where it could only be read by maybe, Mr.Nowhere man living in his nowhere land! Still down, trying to recover only to see, now it's 4th and goal on the demotivator's 40 yardline, with 54 seconds to play...
What are you going to do, just lay there, choke, give in and give up? And I really did search my mind for any encouraging thought. Regretfully, could find no such happy camper:( In these capricious moments of challenge, that require more than just the average emotional skill set, what does one do..or not do?
My mind finally became quiet enough just to competely feel that energy without naming it.
My imagination was activated...then I had a kind of imaginal vision...if your thinking...boy where is she going with this...bear with me...
It was like I had Krishnamurti take me by the hand and whisper in my inner ear...
I have found that the best thing to do
is quiet the mind by focusing only on the sensation in your body. Be with what is, not trying to fix, change, modify or control anything.... even if you see yourself doing so ...just see that....allowing the present state of being to just be ..as it is...like watching a young fawn feeding... yet being aware of the emotional energy...energy is in motion and all thoughts are quelled as one simply allows that inner energy to pass right through
Wow...I thought to myself...I had to imagine a Sage to come in and give me a boost? His face slowly faded and my day dreamed passed..I relaxed, and felt a calmness and clarity. And yet, the question still remains ...would I stay down or get up? Better yet, what would motivate me to do so?
Then BING! The light bulb went pop, as the Eureka Spring gushed with insight! I started pounding out this post immediately, At the same time realizing I could share with you about my loss as a way of gain by expressing to other Steemians about it, and thus getting to the goal line, doing a celebration dance that would definitely be flagged lol.
TOUCHE! MR.CHALLENGE!
Wow the energy of spontaneous inspiration is a drug that needs to be put in pill form. There is nothing like it. To know, I got through this by writing this out. Some will think I was a bit dramatic, but if this happens to you, I hope you will remember this article. Now I am writing this in busy...and this article will be posted! Freedom!
When the going gets tough, the tough get smarter
I appreciate your comments, witticisms, and feedback. With a follow and resteem, we will both be rewarded~