I’ve been thinking about this for a long time—well as long as I’ve been a stay-at-mom (about 4 years now). I just couldn't figure out why I am having such a hard time making real connections with other moms. Sure, I can hang out with anyone and talk about my kids, but it never seems like we could really get past the few initial playdates. And no matter how much effort I’ve put into relationships (which has been a lot in my opinion) none of my friendships seem to last.
And then last week I read an article posted by a family therapist describing how Type A husbands often criticize their Type B stay-at-home wives. In the article she described the general characteristics of these Type B stay-at-home moms. And then it just all clicked for me!!
I can’t make mom friends because I am Type A and all the women I am spending my days with are Type B. I started to think more and more and thought about all my closest friends, the ones I’ve had for years. They are all Type A. I thought of the few stay-at-moms that I have a deeper connection with and they are also Type A. I just seem to have deeper friendships with people who have the same personality type.
I’ve always noticed that I’m quite different than most of the other SAHMs that I know, but I never really thought about personality type. It’s true. Type B people are more suited to staying home with kids and many Type A women choose not to stay at home because they are more suited for work outside the home.
(Of course I'm over-generalizing but these are my observations and are not meant to offend anyone)
So when it comes down to it, I was so grateful for that article and that epiphany. I thought there was something wrong with me and I seriously could not figure out why I haven’t been able to make more genuine friendships. But the sad thing is that I’m doomed in the friendship department until I go back to work or at least until I meet some more Type A stay-at-home moms!
Here's to hoping that changes soon.