What is Steemalyzer Select?
Steemalzyer Select is a new tool to help you keep your Steem Reputation intact. Whether you're coming home late after clubbing with friends on the weekend or you've had a bit too much to drink at the family Bar-B-Que, Steemalyzer Select is always there for you, like your friends never are!
Your so-called friends don't care whether you destroy all that you've worked for, they just want to laugh at you while you're at your worst. That's why we invented Steemalzyer Select, because you can't trust another drunk™.
How Does Steemalyzer Select Work?
Simply connect the Steemalyzer Select to your computer with a USB cable (not supplied). The private keys to your main Steem posting account, which maintains your impeccable Steem Reputation, are kept private and secure from your drunken ramblings with Steemalyzer Select. With just one breath into Steemalyzer Select, you will be protected when you register above the legal Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) limit of .08.
If Steemalyzer Select detects a reading over .08 (or your set limit if you purchase the "BAC Leveler" Option), a new random named account will be created on Steem and you will be automatically logged in with no confusing passwords to remember. Once you are logged in, you now have the freedom to spew whatever gibberish comes flowing out of your inebriated brain, and all without the worry of damaging your stellar Steem Reputation and hurting your future earnings potential.
Optional Features
BAC Leveler - Set the Blood Alcohol Concentration level to your own custom setting. If you can handle a bit more or a bit less alcohol than most, this is the option for you!
Auto-Deleter - Your post will be deleted immediately after submission. You won't remember ever writing it in the first place, so why should anyone else on Steemit?! It's still on the blockchain, but only the nerds will ever be able to see it; and best of all, even they won't know it was you!
Identity Masker - Sometimes there's no getting around your use of certain words, phrases or spellings, even when you're drunk. Identity Masker will help you with this by analyzing your post history and randomizing often used words, phrases and spellings with optional selections from which you can choose.
Identity Masker Plus - Too drunk to choose? You need Identity Masker Plus!
Where To Buy?
Steemalyzer Select is not sold in stores because it is not yet a viable product. Each upvoter of this post will be put on a special waiting list and when and if this product becomes available, you will be given the opportunity to purchase a Steemalyzer Select before anyone else! So upvote Now!
Thanks to tobixen for the idea! Born from : https://steemit.com/steemit/@funny/the-importance-of-being-able-to-delete-posts-or-what-do-you-mean-my-drunken#@tobixen/re-tuck-fheman-re-funny-the-importance-of-being-able-to-delete-posts-or-what-do-you-mean-my-drunken-20160621t053717917z