Although I enjoyed my time in Kraków and steemfest, I’m glad to be home. During the trip to Kraków I heard that one has never heard somebody whine as much as I about their holiday, and I’m guilty, I admit it.
So, what did I whine about?
I’m selfish, specially when it comes to my time and using it. When I have different plans about life and someone or ones fuck up my plans I get cranky. Yes, I’m like a child who doesn’t get her will. But aren’t we all in a way? Extreme stimulation gets us all sometimes, for some the limit is just lower. That happened to me and I’m not proud of it. I’m usually very adaptable and I hold changes better than people maybe usually would. Usually my life depends on this skill. Now that very skill failed me big time.
I worked 20h shifts up to 6 to 7 days a week to make this trip happen, to have a holiday that I wouldn’t need to feel guilty about. To make up my absence from work and life in general. I prefer suffering before handed, so I wouldn’t have to pay to toll after enjoying my time.
I pushed my self to the very limit and over it just because of what? Unknown. The ultimate leap of faith. I’m glad I did it, but it wasn’t holiday as I thought it would be. I didn’t rest. That is something from what I’m paying the price now.
When one comes back from holiday, they want to feel well rested, ready to face the responsibilities of daily life. I don’t feel that way. This has nothing to do with steemfest or people in it. This is me and my expectations failing. And there is enough woman in me to admit that it bugs me out.
What now?
I’m one of those weirdos that actually like their life. For now. But I still dream to have vacation to recover from vacation. Daily life isn’t draining to me, not like it was before steemfest. I need to work only regular hours and let’s face it, it almost feel like holiday to me.