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I feel so alone, like I am the only person who feels this way in the world and it doesn’t even matter. It is not important, maybe because I am not important. Silence seems to be louder than my screams thus, making them unheard. What can I do to be heard, other than break my life apart, try tearing down my world, die??? I am a walking dead because, of me nothing is said and my voice is never heard; my message is never read. This death inside is ripping my heart apart. The pain is very intense like that of a dart. Hmmmmm…. I think I now have a hole in heart. If only they could see the signs and come to my aid. I AM DYING INSIDE.
Sometimes I wonder whether or not I’m becoming more alive or dying, sometimes I wonder if there is any difference. I just want someone to listen to me and not be angry. I am not happy and I just want someone who would understand why I am not. I want someone to spend time with me and not be in a hurry. I need a friend who in listening to me, would not tarry. I am being killed softly by the rejection, failures, loneliness, insecurities etc. I AM DYING INSIDE
I am of no importance in this world and no one wants me. I am completely different and can never fit in. I am like a needle which can’t be found in the dark. How I wish I would just be hit by a truck. I AM DYING INSIDE.
The pain that emanates from failed relationships, loneliness, being stigmatized, being rejected etc tends to cause the hearts of people to rupture. This damage can’t be corrected by any suture. If I am dead inside, why not just end it all. If I do that, they would notice for once that I existed and heed to my call( They say to themselves). If only those of us around such individual would read the handwriting on the wall, we then wouldn’t consider their pain as nothing big but small.
To this inner death, no one is immune. When upon life’s billows we are tempest tossed, feeling discouraged and thinking all hope is lost, that is when we need to be strong and look up to God. Leaning on his everlasting arms and holding up his sword.(Which is his word). I know it is easier said than done but if only we would hold each other’s hand and never let go; being each other’s source of warmth in the time of snow. Let’s get to know the highs and lows in the lives of people. Let’s make impacts in the lives of people and be the stone or coin that creates a ripple in their pond of pain.
Let us resurrect the dead lives within us and in others and know that, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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