This, my dear readers, I am writing for the lovers out there and especially for women. Relationship crisis has ceased to be rare these days. Why so? There are many reasons that show up as unavoidable in today’s millennial lifestyle. But some can definitely be shunned away. I would like to put light onto one of those.
We women grow up reading stories of Cinderella and Snow White and, consciously or unconsciously, we spend considerable amount of our time seeking for Mr. Perfect. There in our brains, through the fairy tales or the romantic legends or films, etc., is set a congenial yet absurd picture of a certain Mr. Perfect. I hate to burst the bubble but those fairy tales portray impossible men just as they scribble an impractical and to be precise, a potentially harmful sketch of womanhood.
“When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity.”
As teenagers we experience infatuations for the cute looking guy in our class and sometimes we even engage in puppy love relationships with him only to end up heart-broken when we are not ought to, getting mislead and distracted from the real goals. If we observe batch wise, in most of them, the girls, at a very early age, start lagging behind in career aspects, thanks to an ebbed taste, an abated self-esteem and a need for a constant dependence. Most girls, until they receive a hard blow from reality of the present world, remains engrossed in the bizarre daydreams of a Prince Charming. Some never learn the lesson. But why do girls behave like that and boys do not? Like girls, boys too do involve themselves in amours, which is a very rudimentary human behavior, but most of them do not get distracted from their ambitions. Why so? I’m not ready to digest that girls ARE like that. Girls are not like that. It’s the way of upbringing that is to be called at fault.
Right from infanthood, a girl or a boy is consistently made acquainted to the conventional and accepted social norms of personality traits through setting up of a girls versus boys standard in toys, in games, in clothes, in colors, in friendships, in volume of voice, speed of walking and what not. Speaking of just girls, not only they are made to believe that their lives should revolve around the ideas of a dreamy wedding (which never happens) and that all their endeavors should be aimed at wooing a suitable groom hence maiming their sense of independent existence, but also a very ridiculous image of that suitable groom is hammered into their almost paralyzed sense. Disaster occurs when the realistic boy or man never meets those fancies. They might not be up for PDA, they might not look like on-screen Brad Pitt, they might not be a knight in shining armor, they cannot afford to take us to dreamy dates every weekend, they do not glare at us with love dipped eyes all the time, they get angry and exhausted, they have real work and cannot spend the whole of their times making romantic moments with us. These are all because we are here dealing with normal human beings. How is that so incomprehensible? Plus, every person has right to an individual life and personal time. He too does. That is never an implication towards any lack of love for you. Heard of human behavior and human rights, eh?
A romantic relationship should be based on only two things- love and respect. Other things build themselves up eventually. When you want a relationship to thrive, you got to handle that with maturity. Selfishness and disregard for the priorities of the significant other lead only to unnecessary wastage of genuine feelings and hinders a beautiful, mutual growth. All it leaves us with is bitterness but we never seem to introspect as to where we went wrong. There is no such person as Mr. Right or Miss Right. Period!
P.S. Guys too exhibit illogical expectations in relationships. They too have their own ideas of Miss Right but this piece concerns itself exclusively with how women run on a losing note just because of silly unrealistic wishes.