Love.
What does this word mean to you? We all know what love is, but each one of us defines it differently. If you check in a dictionary, here's what you may find:
(
LOVE [luhv]
noun
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- sexual passion or desire.
- a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
- (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
This definition sounds tasteless, because love for me is a lot more than that. Love is when your brain stops working when you are near that person, when you suddenly forget how to talk or do the simplest things such as walking and your tongue gets tied and your mind goes blank. Love is smiling, a full truthful smile, at the mention of that person's name or when they cloud your thoughts before you fall asleep. Love is building up a future with that special someone, a future where everything is about you two, and only you, where there is nothing but happiness, joy, innocence, laughing, cuddling, dancing... Being in-love. Love is when you paint your dreams with the color of that person's smile, and every dream you have end up being related to them.
Love is not falling for a perfect body, it's falling for all the imperfections and flaws in that person's mind.
I can go on and on talking about love. But it's simply when someone look you in the eyes, cup your cheeks, take a deep breath and tell you : "I love your smile and hear you laugh too, I think it's wonderful. I love your eyes, especially when I feel you looking at me when I am asleep. I love that little frown that you have when something upsets you, and the way you fiddle with your fingers when you are nervous. I love your style of clothing, and the time that you take to choose the color of the pants that you want to put on. I love the power of my hand going through your hair, and when you get annoyed because you just styled it to perfection. And then, I love your way of expressing yourself, I could listen to you for hours without getting bored. I love how you take me in your arms and how you manage to make me understand that you'll be there whatever happens and that you are protecting me. I love so many things about you that I get blind about all your beautiful flaws. I love so many things about you, I realize that I could love you all my life irrevocably. "
It's when someone cares about the smallest things about you, things that you didn't even care about but it's in the way they describe it, that makes you notice what you had and cherish it. I know that you might not be the most confident person I'll ever meet but I wouldn't care less. Why? Well because I am not a person. So I wouldn't mind lack of confidence and even if you hate something about you I wouldn't know because I don't have eyes but I have something better, something with which I can see, feel and interact with people. Words.
Stay strong is the only thing people say when they are facing someone insecure and struggling every single day. They think it'll help. Truth is, it doesn't. Not even a little bit, not even at all.
For someone having more scars stuck on their body than stars in the night' sky, for someone fearing company and always avoiding people to not get judged, for someone ashamed to speak up and get close to others out of being scared of making a fool out of themselves, for someone considering the mirror their worst enemy and hate their reflection, for someone keeping their smile to themselves so it's so rare to see just like a full moon, for someone underestimated not only by others but by their own selves and keep on doubting their abilities.
For someone hurt, disappointed, giving up in front of the darkness that's digging its way into their unstable road, lost inside their little shell, afraid of their own shadow, stopped having faith in life and hope in the future. For someone attempting suicide believing that if hell and heaven existed then their life must be hell and death is the only way to heaven.
For someone like this, having an inner war with no one but themselves, "Stay strong" means absolutely nothing. So instead of saying meaningless words, try to help them learn how to value and love themselves.
If you are someone like that you should know that Your scars are battle wounds and a reminder of your victory over your demons even though when you made those cuts you were at your weakest state, your cuts healed and you are surviving and that's a proof that you deserve this life. You should know that not having many friends is a sign of strength because being selective is a trait that only wise people have. You should know that if people judge you it doesn't make them right because they will talk shit either you're doing good or bad, they do it to make you doubt yourself even more and feel more insecure but stand tall and let haters do their jobs : Following your every move and remember that they secretly want to be you.
You should know that looking in a mirror isn't a crime and should be a daily activity, you've got to love something about your face and body, look, you have your mother's eyes, your dad's hair color, your sister's nose, your favorite uncle's smile.. You are a beautiful combination of genes that are similar to your most loved people in the world. Shouldn't you be proud of that? Shouldn't you feel blessed? You hate your body because your "friends" are skinny and you're not? Because they make you feel bad? Listen, skinny is not equal beauty but neither is curvy, you define it your way, your size shouldn't be a hold back for you to enjoy your life. Every shape is beautiful, you are God's creature and only he can judge you but if you hate your body to the point you prefer leaving this life then change yourself, challenge yourself only if YOU want to and not to please anyone else. And people who make you feel bad about your look don't even deserve you calling them your friends and they're the ones who should be your enemies not yourself.
You should know that your smile might be rare like a full moon but just like it, it's one of the most beautiful phenomenons in nature, it lights up everybody's moods and let them in awe for you. There's nothing ugly about smiling either you wear braces or have cracked teeth, a smile is all it takes to make someone falls head over heels for you, so smile as much as you can, scientists confirmed that starting your day with a smile will light up your mood during the whole day, smile even if it makes blood rush to your cheeks and make you blush remember that you are still beautiful. You should know that keeping quite to avoid saying something goofy and weird or a mess is itself a mess, speak up! What are you afraid of? People leaving? So what! Only fake people will leave you for being yourself and saying what you think. Be you and watch as fake people leave with a smile on your face but don't forget being classy and hold the door for them. They are like acne, we all hate acne. Weird is funny and will attract people who will bring a nuclear positive charge in your life, people who will tell you 'let's go weirdo together, life is too short to be serious!'
You should know that suicide is never a solution, when you are laying on the shower's cold floor holding the blade, being a step away of taking your life, think about people who love you, about how broken your mom would be, how guilty those haters would feel and how many would follow you... Don't give up don't let people see you weak. You think your death won't change anything? The world would be missing a future actor, singer, writer, model, photographer, teacher, doctor, architect, musician, fashion designer, youtuber or a blogger or even a student. Do you think that's not important? You can be a hero only if you believe you can.
Why do you think celebrities are so wanted and loved?
Why do you think people look at them as perfect idols? Why people call them legends, sexy, confident? It's because they believe they are and they show it to the world, they believe in themselves so that no one can make them doubt their abilities!
I'm not asking you to be like a celebrity, I want you to be the best you can be and when you're there try to be even better, not for anyone else but for you. Love your body, it's not a felony to have flaws, we all have them but they are perfect imperfections that make us who we are and who we are meant to be. Love yourself. It's the first step to change. Make people respect you because you were born the way you are.
Maybe you do have someone in your life who's making you happy. But have you ever wondered is happiness all what you want? If you feel like you still have a long road ahead of you. If you are scared of fighting for what you want alone, if you don't believe in yourself.
Take my hand. Well my pages. I can take you there. I can teach you how to love.
How to love yourself.
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