One things for sure; I do not feel like being a mom is a burden.
I don’t know if it’s social media’s doing or if it’s that we’re (you’re) all a bunch of Negative Nancy’s looking for pity or a pat on the back or words of affirmation or approval. For heaven’s sake, if I see or hear one more comment that presents parenting as a difficult/impossible/exhausting responsibility, than I’m just gonna, well, do nothing. Still, it irritates the bajeebees outta me. ‘Cause c’mon. Of course it’s a smidge difficult. Hello? We’re raising humans over here.
But frankly, the future parents of the world are not always getting an accurate portrayal of parenthood.
Here’s a few myths in the “Terrible World of Having Kids:”
» You don’t sleep for 10 years.
I’m sure there are plenty of mom’s and dad’s who could disagree, but besides the newborn stage, I’ve slept. Gasp! Shock and Awe! Perhaps even more so than pre-offspring. My kids generally sleep 10 – 12 hours a night. And a nap during the day. Here’s the deal, I don’t co-sleep (and before you get all Mother Earth on me, it’s not because I don’t want to bond with my babies, it’s because I DO WANT to bond with my babies. In a non-comatose state). I breastfed both of my children and the first 2 to 3 months they slept next to me in their pack in play for easy access during feedings. And then they got their own room. And I didn’t jerk awake every time I heard a booger flap in my son’s nostril or any time my daughter’s left pinky twitched. I’ll get even more controversial. Sometimes I let them cry it out. (Oh, the horror of it all!) And strangely enough (not strange at all), they were able to cozy up in their crib, blankie in hand, binky in tow, and snooze away.
I also maintain a general daily routine. I’m no Lieutenant, now. But, it helps to have a basic schedule. It also encourages good poops.
You’re welcome.
» It costs a bazillion dollars.
Of course, it’s not free to have a kid. In fact, I may be paying off my son’s hospital bill for another three years. But, it’s like anything in life. If you want a new car, you have to buy some tires every once in a while, fill it up with gas, run it through the car wash. If you want your own house, you get to fix a broken A/C unit every once in a while, or buy a new couch that doesn’t reek of dog pee, or throw a couple shrubs in the front yard. So what if you spend a couple hundred dollars a year on diapers. It’s still probably less than you spend on Starbucks in a month.
Being fiscally responsible is obviously important. Duh.
And there’s obviously a lot of supplies needed when it comes to babies, but it doesn’t have to be expensive. I was able to breastfeed solely for my daughter, so I never had to buy formula. I also made her solid food at home. No, not to be a weird, all natural, hippy dippy. Generally just for cost, health, and taste. And it was actually super easy. I’m doing the same with my 8 month old son, and although I have had to start formula with him, our costs every month for the kids are pretty low.
I vow to never make Ayla or Andy or any of my future children guilty that they cost me money. So get over it already about everything you’ve had to “sacrifice” financially for them. Believe me, they’ll earn their keep when they’re old enough.
» You have to be perfect.
Throughout the day as they play and every night when I put them to bed I think, “I really hope they can feel how much I love them. I want them to know. I need them to know.” I fail every day at being a mom. Literally every day. Probably numerous times a day. But somehow, my kids forgive me. Waay faster than I forgive myself. I’ve learned though to apologize out loud to them when I know I messed up. My two year old will say, “Okay, mommy.” It’s tough, because the guilt I put on myself for my imperfections would I never want my kids to feel in their failures. It’s okay to be imperfect. To learn new things every day. To become better.
Needless to say, I will continue to use Google 100 times a day to be sure I’m feeding my kids the Nutrition Pyramid’s recommended servings of vegetables in a day, to be sure the bluish marks on my son’s butt are Mongolian Spot birthmarks, to be sure I don’t overuse the flashcards, to be sure that the formula I’m using is not arsenic, to be sure that the temper tantrums are just a part of life, and to be sure the shampoo I use doesn’t have carcinogenics. I’m never going to have all the answers.
All that to say, my kids will never feel like they are a burden or a hassle. Ever. Because they’re not. Every stage in their life, every dollar I spend on them, every moment is fleeting. Don’t forget to enjoy it all. It all! Even the nights ridden with high-fevers and puking, even the days filled with tantrums, even the afternoons filled with laundry and dishes and mopping. Because those days are when you get to hug your babies the most, teach them valuable life lessons, and work your booty off to make their life the best you possibly can.