#OpenLetterForSteemians
#2ndletter
This is my case. Being sick for more than half of my life makes me lost a lot of experiences a normal youth should be enjoying. Seeing my childhood friends making the most of their strengths envies me so much. While me, just inside our home waiting for the days to pass. Hearing news about my schoolmates also batch mates and how they fulfill their dreams gives me an excruciating feeling that I cant explain. "Why me. Oh God why me". Unconsciously this words keep on whispering in my head, digging the pain more deeper because I cant find a reasonable answer for all of the sufferings.
There where a lot of questions in my mind. Questions after questions yet no answer that will calm me down.
I am sick for 19 yrs already. And 11yrs of this agonizing years I was bed ridden in my own home. It is as if i was tied down both hands and feet though I want to run and chase my dreams, making them a reality. That was tormenting. Worrisome. Do you know the feeling that you want to shout? Scream all the pain out! You want to say the thoughts in your mind but the words wont come out. You want to know who is to blame because you know you are innocent. That envious feeling because why are them living a good life and me a miserable one...That feeling . The mixture of rage, confusion, jealousy, loneliness... that feeling...awful feeling...
But this emotion was long ago... Once in person's life we experience these awful feelings. You know what my fellow #steemians it is normal. IN psychological terms it is called the FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF. Namely Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I believe I am on the 5th stage now. And, I believe it all happened for a reason. What ever religion we are in... we all believe in one great power who controls everything for the common good. Those years of roller coaster of emotions thought me life lessons that I am able to use until now. One of those lesson is being majorly grateful for whatever is happening. No matter how hard is our situation right now be grateful for the great learning you will earn form it. Its a matter of perspective. It is looking things on the brightest side... holding on to it.
Whenever I feel down or a negative feeling arouses from my mind I repress it with gratefulness. I make a list of "my thank yous". These are collection of things to be grateful for. You start with your own body parts. Then start with all the parts of your house. List it all down. Afterwards list down all the things you can do physically. Followed by financial blessings, happy memories. Be thankful of the every details of nature: stars, moon, air we breathes, sunlight, trees ,chirping birds and so many many more . Believe me you will never run down of things to be thankful for. It will take you more than an entire day and you will never be still finish. Doing this activity made me realize those blessings that I wasn't able to notice so long ago even in times of my sad years. MY dear #steemit family if only I knew this process long ago it could definitely minimize my sufferings and shorten it too. Making my situation easier to accept. Thus making that 5 STAGES OF GRIEF more faster than as what has happened to me.
As I said in my #introduceyourself post. I am here to share my story and how I was able to deal with it :). I hope upon reading this I was able to help you with the struggles you are facing. And if you are in a good situation once you were able to finish this open letter you were able to appreciate your life more :) :) :). Come on right down your "My |Thank Yous". :) :) :)
Going back to the title /question of this letter. So what will you do if you were bed ridden for more than 10 years?
Be grateful. Count your blessings. Be excited of the learning you will earn from this trial times. Always remember you are in the right place at right time in perfect situation for Gods purpose. God bless you my fellow #steemian
Sincerely Yours,
RAFAEL
#BeyondDisability
THE photo below was taken last march 2016 at local resort here in Antipolo City, Philippines. After being in our house for more than a decade I really want to get close to nature. Hope one day I can #travel to see natural wonders and hope #steemit can make that dream come true :) :) :)
Have a nice day everyone.